Lovesickness

{{Short description|Negative feelings from experiencing unrequited love or loss of love}} {{About|the negative feelings related to love|other uses|Love Sickness (disambiguation){{!}}Love Sickness}} {{Multiple issues| {{More citations needed|date=April 2014}} {{Original research|date=January 2020}} }} {{Love sidebar|types}}

'''Lovesickness''' is the mental state brought on by the personal experience of unrequited love, or unrequited limerence (also known as infatuated love or being smitten).<ref name="money-lovesick">{{harvnb|Money|1997|p=119, 132–133}}: "The English language lacked a noun singular for the state of being love smitten, or having fallen in love, until Dorothy Tennov (1979) coined the term, limerence, to fill the void. It is formally defined as follows:

;limerence (adjective, limerent): the personal experience of having fallen in love and of being irrationally and fixatedly love stricken or love smitten, irrespective of the degree to which one’s love is requited or unrequited.

[...] Unrequited love is a synonym for unrequited limerence. It leaves a person vulnerable to an attack of lovesickness. Lovesickness may be transitory or prolonged, and major or minor in degree. It may be brought on by a person's anticipatory uncertainty about getting or not getting a reciprocal response to his/her limerence. Lovesickness may be brought on also by unequal proportions of limerence, for example, 100:70 instead of 100:100. The most unequal match is 100:0, total rejection.{{pb}}The formal definition of lovesickness (Money, 1986) is as follows.

;lovesickness: the personal experience and manifest expression of agony when the partner with whom one has fallen in love is a total mismatch whose response is indifference, or a partial mismatch whose reciprocity is incomplete, deficient, anomalous, or otherwise unsatisfactory."</ref><ref name="ethnopharma">{{cite journal |last1=Leonti |first1=Marco |last2=Casu |first2=Laura |date=2 July 2018 |title=Ethnopharmacology of Love |journal=Frontiers in Psychology |volume=9 |page=567 |doi=10.3389/fphar.2018.00567 |pmc=6041438 |pmid=30026695 |doi-access=free}}: "The feeling of romantic love (also 'infatuated love' or 'limerence'; see Tennov, 1998) is the strongest sensation known to humankind and is characterized by a mix of unbearable exhilarating joy, anxiety, obsessive thinking and craving for emotional and physical union [...]. [...] Unrequited love, erotic frustration and the craving for the beloved object manifest themselves in what is commonly referred to as lovesickness (see Tennov, 1998). This often depressive and melancholic state of mind is characterized by intrusive thinking and also has an addictive component."</ref> Research on the biology of romantic love indicates that the early stage of intense romantic love (also called passionate love) resembles addiction, but academics do not currently agree on how love addiction is defined.<ref name="fisher2016">{{cite journal |last1=Fisher |first1=Helen |author-link=Helen Fisher (anthropologist) |last2=Xu |first2=Xiaomeng |last3=Aron |first3=Arthur |author-link3=Arthur Aron |last4=Brown |first4=Lucy |date=9 May 2016 |title=Intense, Passionate, Romantic Love: A Natural Addiction? How the Fields That Investigate Romance and Substance Abuse Can Inform Each Other |journal=Frontiers in Psychology |volume=7 |page=687 |doi=10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00687 |pmc=4861725 |pmid=27242601 |doi-access=free}}</ref><ref name="earp-love-addiction">{{Cite journal |last1=Earp |first1=Brian D. |author-link=Brian Earp |last2=Wudarczyk |first2=Olga A. |last3=Foddy |first3=Bennett |last4=Savulescu |first4=Julian |author-link4=Julian Savulescu |date=2017 |title=Addicted to Love: What Is Love Addiction and When Should It Be Treated? |journal=Philosophy, Psychiatry, & Psychology |language=en |volume=24 |issue=1 |pages=77–92 |doi=10.1353/ppp.2017.0011 |issn=1086-3303 |pmc=5378292 |pmid=28381923}}</ref> Lovesickness is characterized by addictive cravings, depression and intrusive thoughts about a love object.<ref name="ethnopharma"/>

The term "lovesickness" is rarely used in modern medicine, though new research is emerging on the impact of heartbreak on the body and mind.<ref>{{Cite web|date=2017-01-08|title=The science behind a broken heart|url=https://www.health.qld.gov.au/news-events/news/science-behind-a-broken-heart|access-date=2022-01-26|publisher=The State of Queensland (Queensland Health)|language=en-AU|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20200930021941/https://www.health.qld.gov.au/news-events/news/science-behind-a-broken-heart|archive-date=30 September 2020}}</ref>

== History ==

In the medical texts of ancient Greece and Rome, lovesickness was characterized as a "depressive" disease, "typified by sadness, insomnia, despondency, dejection, physical debility, and blinking."<ref name="jstor.org">{{cite journal |last1=Toohey |first1=Peter |title=Love, Lovesickness, and Melancholia |journal=Illinois Classical Studies |date=1992 |volume=17 |issue=2 |pages=265–286 |jstor=23064324 |url=https://www.jstor.org/stable/23064324 |access-date=20 December 2021}}</ref> In Hippocratic texts, "love melancholy" is expected as a result of passionate love.<ref>{{cite web|last=Tallis|first=Frank|title=Is Love a Mental Illness?|url=http://www.franktallis.com/lovesick.htm|access-date=26 March 2014|archive-date=12 September 2017|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20170912164228/http://www.franktallis.com/lovesick.htm|url-status=dead}}</ref> Lovesickness could be cured through the acquisition of the person of interest, such as in the case of Prince Antiochus.<ref>{{cite journal |last1=Harris |first1=James C. |title=Lovesickness: Erasistratus Discovering the Cause of Antiochus' Disease |url=https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/fullarticle/1171952 |journal=Archives of General Psychiatry |access-date=20 December 2021 |pages=549 |doi=10.1001/archgenpsychiatry.2012.105 |date=1 June 2012|volume=69 |issue=6 |pmid=22664546 |url-access=subscription }}</ref>

In ancient literature, however, lovesickness manifested itself in "violent and manic" behavior.<ref name="jstor.org"/> In ancient Greece, Euripides' play ''Medea'' portrays Medea's descent into "violence and mania" as a result of her lovesickness for Jason;<ref>{{cite book |last1=Toohey |first1=Peter |title=Melancholy, love, and time : boundaries of the self in ancient literature |date=2004 |publisher=University of Michigan Press |location=Ann Arbor |isbn=9780472025596 |pages=59–103 }}</ref> meanwhile, in ancient Rome, Virgil's Dido has a manic reaction to the betrayal of her lover, Aeneas, and commits suicide.<ref name="Love, Lovesickness, and Melancholia">{{cite journal |last1=Toohey |first1=Peter |title=Love, Lovesickness, and Melancholia |journal=University of Illinois Press |date=Fall 1992 |volume=17 |issue=2 |pages=265–286 |jstor=23064324 |url=https://www.jstor.org/stable/23064324 |access-date=20 December 2021}}</ref> Dido's case is especially interesting, as the cause of her lovesickness is attributed to the meddling of the gods Juno and Venus.<ref>{{cite book |last1=Virgil |title=The Aeneid |date=1993 |publisher=Harvill |location=London |isbn=978-0002713689}}</ref>

In the Middle Ages, unrequited love was considered "a trauma which, for the medieval melancholic, was difficult to relieve."<ref name="theconversation.com">{{cite web |last1=Kalas |first1=Laura |title=Being lovesick was a real disease in the Middle Ages |url=https://theconversation.com/being-lovesick-was-a-real-disease-in-the-middle-ages-70919 |website=The Conversation |date=13 February 2017 |language=en}}</ref> Treatments included light therapy, rest, exposure to nature, and a diet of lamb, lettuce, fish, eggs, and ripe fruit.<ref name="theconversation.com"/> thumb|''The Death of Dido'' by Joseph Stallaert, c. 1872, oil on canvas - Cinquantenaire Museum - Brussels, Belgium In both antiquity and the Middle Ages, lovesickness was often explained by an imbalance in the humors. An excess of black bile, the humor correlated with melancholy, was usually considered the cause.<ref name="theconversation.com"/><ref name="Love, Lovesickness, and Melancholia"/>

In 1915, Sigmund Freud asked rhetorically, "Isn't what we mean by 'falling in love' a kind of sickness and craziness, an illusion, a blindness to what the loved person is really like?"<ref>Janet Malcolm, ''Psychoanalysis: The Impossible Profession'' (1988) p. 9</ref>

== Modern interpretation ==

Scientific study on the topic of lovesickness has found that those in love experience a kind of high similar to that caused by illicit drugs such as cocaine. In the brain, certain neurotransmitters — phenethylamine, dopamine, norepinephrine and oxytocin — elicit the feeling of high from "love" or "falling in love" using twelve different regions of the brain. These neurotransmitters mimic the feeling of amphetamines.<ref>{{cite web|last=Vaughn|first=Tricia|title=Love sickness is real, and the high it provides looks a lot like cocaine usage|url=http://cw.ua.edu/2013/02/13/love-sickness-is-real-and-the-high-it-provides-looks-a-lot-like-cocaine-usage/|work=Article|publisher=The Crimson White|access-date=28 March 2014|url-status=dead|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20140407101820/http://cw.ua.edu/2013/02/13/love-sickness-is-real-and-the-high-it-provides-looks-a-lot-like-cocaine-usage/|archive-date=7 April 2014}}</ref>

On average, a psychologist does not get referrals from general practitioners mentioning "lovesickness", although this can be prevalent through the language of what the patient feels. With the common symptoms of lovesickness being related to other mental diseases, it is often misdiagnosed or it is found that with all the illnesses one could be facing, love is the underlying problem.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2005}}</ref> This is dangerous when one does not seek help or cannot cope because love has been known to be fatal (a consequence of which might be attempted suicide, thus dramatising the ancient contention that love can be fatal).<ref name="autogenerated1">{{cite journal |last=Tallis |first=Frank |author-link=Frank Tallis |date=18 February 2005a |year= |title=The Year of Relationships - Crazy for you |url=https://cms.bps.org.uk/sites/default/files/2023-01/talliscrazy.pdf |url-status=live |journal=The Psychologist |volume=18 |issue=2 |pages=72–74 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230308123433/https://cms.bps.org.uk/sites/default/files/2023-01/talliscrazy.pdf |archive-date=8 March 2023 |access-date=2 October 2025}}</ref>

In his book ''The Social Nature of Mental Illness'', Len Bowers postulates that although physiological differences exist in the brains of those that are deemed "mentally ill", there are several other criteria that must be met before the differences can be called a malfunction. It is possible, therefore, that many mental illnesses (such as lovesickness) will never bear strong enough evidence to clinically warrant "legitimate" affliction by clinical standards without further correspondingly parasympathetic criteria of established dysfunction(s).

Frank Tallis, a clinical psychologist, suggests in his 2005 article that lovesickness occurs when one is "truly, madly, deeply" in love and should be taken more seriously by medical professionals.<ref name="autogenerated1" />

Tallis includes a list of common symptoms of lovesickness in the following: * Mania - an abnormally elevated mood or inflated self-esteem * Depression, hopelessness, or helplessness * Nausea * Tearfulness * Insomnia, which may lead to fatigue * Lack of concentration * Loss of appetite or overeating * Stress * Obsessive-compulsive disorder - preoccupation and hoarding valueless but superstitiously resonant items * Dizziness and confusion * Body tremors, intrusive thoughts, or frequent flashbacks * Mood swings

According to Tallis, many symptoms of lovesickness can be categorized under the DSM-IV and the ICD-10. Lovesickness resembles obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), because it includes a preoccupation.<ref name=autogenerated1 />

== Scientific research == {{Excerpt|Biology of romantic love|Obsessive thinking|paragraphs=1|only=paragraph}} {{pb}}  {{Excerpt|Biology of romantic love|Reward, motivation and addiction|paragraphs=0|only=paragraph}} {{Excerpt|Biology of romantic love|Addiction short|hat=no}}

==In the arts== William Shakespeare's ''Romeo and Juliet'' portrays the true madness of "love" and the grief that the two young, infatuated lovers feel.<ref>{{cite book|last=Shakespeare|first=William|title=Romeo and Juliet|year=1985 |publisher=CBC Enterprises |isbn=9780887941344 |url=https://archive.org/details/romeojuliet0000shak_i0i3|url-access=registration}}</ref> When Romeo finds his love dead (or so he believes), with the thought of living without his "true love", the grief and depression overcomes him and he takes his own life. After waking and seeing his dead body, Juliet is overcome with despair and takes her own life.

Gothic metal songs thematize lovesickness from Medieval literary influences. "This emotional and physical distress is a key element of ''fin'amor'' that echoes into Gothic metal", according to ''The Oxford Handbook of Music and Medievalism''. "In particular, lovesickness was associated with desires and passions that remained unfulfilled, resulting in symptoms such as sleeplessness, sighing, and loss of appetite, all of which were considered manifestations of the mind's efforts to restrain its passions."<ref>{{cite book|editor1-last=Yri|editor1-first=Kirsten|editor2-last=Meyer|editor2-first=Stephen C.|year=2020|title=The Oxford Handbook of Music and Medievalism|publisher=Oxford University Press|isbn=9780190658465|chapter=Medievalistic Melancholia and Lovesickness|page=552}}</ref>

==See also== {{Wiktionary}} {{Portal|Psychology}}   {{div col|colwidth=20em|small=yes}} * {{Annotated link |Biology of romantic love}} * {{Annotated link |Broken heart}} * {{Annotated link |Eros (concept)}} * {{Annotated link |Erotomania}} * {{Annotated link |Hi-wa itck}} * {{Annotated link |Infatuation}} * {{Annotated link |Limerence}} * {{Annotated link |Love addiction}} * {{Annotated link |Lovestruck}} * {{Annotated link |Obsessive love}} * {{Annotated link |Passionate and companionate love}} * {{Annotated link |Pathological jealousy}} * {{Annotated link |Relationship obsessive–compulsive disorder}} * {{Annotated link |Unrequited love}} {{div col end}}

==References== {{reflist|colwidth=40em}}

==Further reading== * {{cite journal |first=Helen |last=King |title=The Secret Wound: Love, Melancholy and Early Modern Romance (review) |journal=Bulletin of the History of Medicine |volume=82 |issue=2 |year=2008 |pages=445–446 |doi=10.1353/bhm.0.0009 |s2cid=71371213 }} * {{Cite book |last=Money |first=John |author-link=John Money |title=Principles of Developmental Sexology |date=1997 |publisher=Continuum |isbn=978-0-8264-1026-9 |location=New York |url=https://books.google.com/books/?id=MfPZAAAAMAAJ}} * {{Cite book |last=Tallis |first=Frank |author-link=Frank Tallis |url=https://books.google.com/books?vid=ISBN9781560256472 |title=Love Sick: Love as a Mental Illness |date=January 2005 |publisher=Thunder's Mouth Press |isbn=978-1-56025-647-2 |language=en}} * {{cite news |first=Tricia |last=Vaughn |title=Love sickness is real, and the high it provides looks a lot like cocaine usage |year=2013 |url=https://cw.ua.edu/14647/culture/love-sickness-is-real-and-the-high-it-provides-looks-a-lot-like-cocaine-usage/ }} * {{cite book|last1=Bowers|first1=Len|title=The social nature of mental illness|date=2000|publisher=Routledge|location=London|isbn=0415227771}}

Category:Emotion Category:Emotional issues Category:Love Category:Psychodynamics Category:Romance