{{Short description|Joke delivered in a single line}} {{Multiple issues| {{original research|date=September 2016}} {{Excessive examples|date=April 2026}} {{Lead extra info|date=February 2026}} }} {{Use dmy dates|date=May 2021}} A '''one-liner''' is a joke that is delivered in a single line. A good one-liner is said to be pithy – concise and meaningful.<ref>{{cite web |title=The Unuttered Punch Line: Pragmatic Incongruity and the Parsing of 'What's the Difference' Jokes |first=K.E.L. |last=Miller |url=http://engling.truman.edu/SeniorSem/PDFpapers/Miller%20paper%20PDF.pdf |date=3 December 2009 |publisher=Truman State University |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20150204144303/http://engling.truman.edu/SeniorSem/PDFpapers/Miller%20paper%20PDF.pdf |archive-date=4 February 2015}}</ref> Comedians and actors use this comedic method as part of their performance, and many fictional characters are also known to deliver one-liners, including James Bond, who often makes pithy and laconic quips after disposing of a villain.<ref>[https://www.today.com/popculture/james-bond-one-line-says-it-all-wbna27540003 For James Bond, one line says it all] - Christopher Bahn, Today, 10 November 2008</ref>
==Examples== * "Never read a pop-up book about giraffes." (Sean Lock)<ref>{{Cite web |date=2021-08-18 |title=Sean Lock's best jokes as comedian passes away at 58 |url=https://www.bigissue.com/culture/tv/sean-locks-best-jokes-as-comedian-passes-away-at-58/ |access-date=2026-02-23 |website=Big Issue |language=en-US}}</ref> * "I went to the doctor's. I said, 'I've got a problem with the hearing in one of my ears.' He said, 'Are you sure?' I said, 'Yes, I'm definite.'" (Daniel Edison)<ref>{{cite news |title=Britain's Got Talent: Portsmouth's Daniel Edison audition |url=https://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/britains-got-talent-portsmouths-daniel-edison-audition-5623890 |work=The News |publisher=Portsmouth News |access-date=24 April 2026}}</ref> * "Throwing acid is wrong. In some people's eyes." (Jimmy Carr)<ref>{{Cite news |last=Logan |first=Brian |date=2002-08-19 |title=Jimmy Carr's Bare-Faced Ambition |url=https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2002/aug/19/comedy.artsfeatures |access-date=2026-02-23 |work=The Guardian |language=en-GB |issn=0261-3077}}</ref> * "My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person - so I can get a better girlfriend." (Anthony Jeselnik)<ref>{{Cite web |title=Best Joke Ever: Comedy Villain Anthony Jeselnik: The Love Child of Jack Handey and Ravishing Rick Rude |url=https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/comedy-villain-anthony-jeselnik-the-love-child-of-jack-handey-and-ravishing-rick-rude |access-date=2026-02-23 |website=McSweeney's Internet Tendency |language=en}}</ref> * "Cricket. No matter who wins, both teams, and all the fans, are losers." (Frankie Boyle)<ref>{{Cite web |last=Bates |first=Normal |date=2016-02-22 |title=The most outrageous, funniest jokes Frankie Boyle has ever told |url=https://www.thepoke.com/2016/02/22/frankie-boyle-for-prime-minister/ |access-date=2026-02-23 |website=The Poke}}</ref> * "An escalator cannot break, it can only become stairs." (Mitch Hedberg)<ref>{{Cite web |date=2020-02-25 |title=Minnesota's Mitch Hedberg, Comedian, Would Have Turned 52 Today |url=https://1037theloon.com/minnesotas-mitch-hedberg-comedian-would-have-turned-52-today-video/ |access-date=2026-02-23 |website=103.7 THE LOON |language=en}}</ref> * "My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave." (Burt Reynolds)<ref>{{Cite news |last=Cohen |first=Alex |date=2018-09-06 |title=Burt Reynolds, 'Smokey And The Bandit' Star, Dies At 82 |url=https://www.npr.org/2018/09/06/645337149/burt-reynolds-smokey-and-the-bandit-star-dies-at-82 |access-date=2026-02-23 |work=NPR |language=en}}</ref> * "I'm on a whiskey diet… I've lost three days already." (Tommy Cooper)<ref>{{Cite web |date=2021-01-27 |title=Tommy Cooper Classics - Inside Your Mind |url=https://insideyourmind.com/tommy-cooper-classics/ |access-date=2026-02-23 |language=en-US}}</ref> * "It's good to see me, isn't it?" (Glinda, from the musical ''Wicked'')<ref>{{Cite web |title=WATCH: Glinda’s “It’s Good To See Me Isn’t It” From WICKED’S First Performance Back |url=https://www.theatrely.com/post/watch-glindas-first-its-good-to-see-me-isnt-it-from-wickeds-first-performance-back |access-date=2026-02-23 |website=www.theatrely.com |language=en}}</ref> * "I have nothing to declare except my genius." (Oscar Wilde, upon arriving at US customs, 1882)<ref name="cwq-64300">{{cite web | year = 1996 | url = http://www.bartleby.com/66/0/64300.html | title = Number 64300 | work = The Columbia World of Quotations | access-date = 20 June 2007 }}</ref> * "They hired a 3-piece band that was so lousy, every time the waiter dropped a tray, we all got up and danced!" (Les Dawson){{Citation needed|date=February 2026}} * "What a magnificent show this is going to be when it starts!" (Ken Dodd){{Citation needed|date=February 2026}} * "I have a girlfriend! I've been going out with my girlfriend for… sex!" (Stewart Francis)<ref>{{Cite web |last=Nelson |first=Alex |date=2018-07-13 |title=41 of Stewart Francis’ most ingenious jokes and one-liners |url=https://inews.co.uk/light-relief/jokes/stewart-francis-jokes-175875 |access-date=2026-02-23 |website=The i Paper |language=en-US}}</ref> * "I have an L-shaped sofa… Lowercase." (Demetri Martin)<ref>{{Cite web |date=2019-05-15 |title=Demetri Martin: Live (At The Time) (2015) {{!}} Transcript |url=https://scrapsfromtheloft.com/comedy/demetri-martin-live-at-the-time-transcript/ |access-date=2026-02-23 |website=Scraps from the loft |language=en-GB}}</ref> * "Crime in multi-story car parks is wrong on so many different levels." (Tim Vine)<ref>{{Cite news|url=https://inews.co.uk/culture/100-best-jokes-one-liners-edinburgh-fringe/|title=100 of the best ever jokes and one-liners from the Edinburgh Fringe |date=4 August 2017|work=iNews |access-date=6 June 2018|language=en-GB}}</ref> * "My wife – it's difficult to say what she does. She sells seashells on the seashore." (Milton Jones)<ref>{{Cite news |last=Benedictus |first=Leo |date=2013-01-24 |title=Comedy Gold: Milton Jones's Lion Whisperer |url=https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2013/jan/24/comedy-gold-milton-jones-lion-whisperer |access-date=2026-02-23 |work=The Guardian |language=en-GB |issn=0261-3077}}</ref> * "In Scotland the forbidden fruit is fruit." (Gary Delaney)<ref>{{Cite AV media |url=https://www.facebook.com/GaryDelaneyComedian/videos/gary-delaney-comedy-club-classics-2000-2013-full-show-of-one-liners/265450101755471/ |title=Gary Delaney: Comedy Club Classics 2000-2013 - Full show of one-liners |language=en |access-date=2026-02-23 |via=www.facebook.com}}</ref> * "Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long if you’re fat." (Joe Lycett)<ref>{{Cite web |last=Ogilvie |first=Lucy |date=2016-08-03 |title=The Best Joke of the Edinburgh Fringe |url=https://medium.com/@lucyelizabethogilvie/the-best-joke-of-the-edinburgh-fringe-18a43edd49e |access-date=2026-02-23 |website=Pearlshare |language=en}}</ref> * "I was so ugly; my mother had morning sickness after I was born" (Rodney Dangerfield){{Citation needed|date=February 2026}} * "I went out on a date with Simile. I don’t know what I metaphor." (Tim Vine)<ref>{{cite news | title = Tim Vine joke voted best one-liner of the Fringe | work = The Scotsman | url = https://www.scotsman.com/whats-on/arts-and-entertainment/tim-vine-joke-voted-best-one-liner-of-the-fringe-1528699 | date = 25 August 2014 }}</ref>
== See also == *Greguería *Paraprosdokian *Throwaway line
== References == {{Reflist}}
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Category:Jokes Category:Stand-up comedy