Colour wheel theory of love

{{Short description|Psychological theory created by John Alan Lee}} {{Use Canadian English|date=November 2022}} {{multiple issues| {{expert needed|psychology|date=April 2019|talk=Expert needed}} {{More citations needed|date=October 2019}} {{Original research|date=July 2024}} }} thumb|The colour wheel of love by John A. Lee {{Love sidebar|cultural}} {{emotion}} The '''colour wheel theory of love''' is an idea created by the Canadian psychologist John Alan Lee that describes six love<ref>{{Cite book |title = Lovestyles |last = Lee |first = John A. |publisher = Abacus |year = 1976}}</ref> styles, using several Latin and Greek words for love. First introduced in his book ''Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving'' (1973), Lee defines three primary, three secondary, and nine tertiary love styles, describing them in the traditional colour wheel. The three primary types are called Eros, Ludus, and Storge, and the three secondary types are called Mania, Pragma, and Agape.<ref>Garth, F. O., Simpson, J. A., Campbell, L., & Overall, N. C. (2019). The Science of Intimate Relationships (second). Wiley-Blackwell.</ref>

Eros focuses on the sexual life, Ludus on the playful life, and Storge on the serious life. For the secondary types, Mania (Eros & Ludus) is characterized by obsession and overattachment, Agape (Eros & Storge) by altruism and trust, and Pragma (Ludus & Storge) by realism and practicality.

== Primary types of love ==

=== Eros === ''Eros'' is the Greek term for romantic, passionate, or sexual love, from which the term ''erotic'' is derived. Lee describes Eros as a passionate physical and emotional love feeling of wanting to satisfy, create sexual contentment, security, and aesthetic enjoyment for each other, it also includes creating sexual security for the other by striving to forsake options of sharing one's intimate and sexual self with outsiders.<ref>{{cite book |last1=Lee |first1=John A. |title=Colours of Life: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving |publisher=new press |pages=15}}</ref> It is a highly sensual, intense, passionate style of love. Erotic lovers choose their lovers by intuition or "chemistry". They are more likely to say they fell in love at first sight than those of other love styles.

Lee's recognizable traits:<ref name="auto">{{cite book |last1=Sternberg |first1=Robert |title=The Psychology of Love |publisher=Yale University Press |pages=51}}</ref> * Feels strong physical and emotional connection through the relationship. * Begins with a partner who is a stranger and evokes immediate excitement. * May be exclusive but not possessive. * Seeks early sexual adventure, variety and technique. * Is ready for love and its risks.

=== Ludus === Ludus means "game" or "school" in Latin. Lee uses the term to describe those who see love as a desire to want to have fun with each other, to do activities indoor and outdoor, tease, indulge, and play harmless pranks on each other. The acquisition of love and attention itself may be part of the game.<ref>{{cite book |last1=Lee |first1=John A. |title=Colours of Life: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving |pages=16}}</ref>

Ludic lovers want to have as much fun as possible. When they are not seeking a stable relationship, they rarely or never become overly involved with one partner and often can have more than one partner at a time, in other words, a school of partners. They do not reveal their true thoughts and feelings to their partner(s), especially if they think they can gain some kind of advantage over their partner(s). The expectation may also be that the partner(s) should also be similarly minded. If a relationship materializes it will be about having fun and indulging in activities of varying degrees of learnedness together.

=== Storge === ''Storge'' is the Greek term for familial love. Lee defines Storge as growing slowly out of friendship and based more on similar interests and a commitment to one another rather than on passion. However, he chooses ''Storge'', rather than the term ''Philia'' (the usual term for friendship) to describe this kind of love.

There is a love between siblings, spouses, cousins, parents, and children. Storge necessitates certain familial loyalties, responsibilities, duties, and entitlements. The dwelling is to be a sanctuary for its members and all members of a family are to pull through together in difficult times. Except for marriage, all other relationships have existed often by blood for as long as the individuals have known each other. In marriage, a couple, who formerly did not accord each other this love, promises to extend and build this love and form a new bond of kinship. Family members hold each other in good esteem to the outside world. Insults undermine the connected family reputations. In many judicial systems, a family member cannot be asked to testify in court against a member of one's immediate family for a crime external to the family. Storgic love often develops gradually out of friendship, or out of extended duration of cohabitation.<ref>{{Cite web |url=https://www.psywww.com/intropsych/ch16-sfl/six-types-of-love.html |title=Six Types of Love. Chapter 16: Sex, Friendship, and Love |last=Russell A. Dewey |website=www.psywww.com |lang=en |access-date=2019-06-20}}</ref> The friendship in some cases can endure beyond the breakup of the relationship.

Lee's recognizable traits: * Is not looking for love but is ready if encountered. * Quietly possessive but not overly jealous. * Believes love comes from friendship but not a goal of life. * Only has sexual desires after commitment is declared.

== Secondary types of love == According to Lee's colour wheel theory, there are three secondary types of love: mania, agape, and pragma.

=== Mania === Mania is derived from the Ancient Greek term {{wikt-lang|grc|μανία}}, or (according to Lee) ''theia mania'' (the madness of the gods). Lee defines Manic love as flowing out of a desire to hold one's partner in high esteem and wanting to love and be loved in this way, seeing specialness in the interaction. This type of love tends to lead a partner into a type of madness and obsessiveness. On the colour wheel, it is represented by the colour purple, since it is a mix between Ludus and Eros.<ref>Hu, J. X., & Nash, S. T. (2019). Marriage and the family: Mirror of a diverse Global Society. Routledge.</ref>

Manic lovers speak of their partners with possessives and superlatives, and they feel that they "need" their partners. Oftentimes, manic individuals are attracted to individuals who have low self-esteem and a weak self-concept.<ref>Laswell, T.E. & Laswell, M.E. (1976). I Love You but I'm not in Love With You. ''Journal of Marriage and Family Counselling'', 38, 211-224.</ref> Manic lovers value finding a partner through chance without prior knowledge of their financial status, education, background, or personality traits. In excess, mania becomes obsession, and obsessed manic lovers can thus come across as being very possessive and jealous.

Lee's recognizable traits: * Anxiety about falling in love, with expectations of pain * Quickly becoming overwhelmed by thoughts of one's partner * Forcing a partner into showing affection and emotion * Easily frustrated and does not enjoy sexual intimacy * Possessiveness and jealousy

=== Agape === ''Agape'' is derived from ἀγάπη, an Ancient Greek term for altruistic love'''.''' Lee describes agape as an altruistic love, given by the lover who sees it as his obligation without expecting reciprocity. According to Lee, Agapic lovers are usually older and more emotionally mature, thus a love guided by will and reason than emotion or attraction.<ref> Lee John A. A Typology of Styles of Loving. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. 1977;3(2):173-182. doi:10.1177/014616727700300204</ref> Agape is a combination of Storge and Eros.

Agape is an all-giving, selfless love. A revised questionnaire based on an instrument in a previous study (Hendrick et al., 1984) entitled Attitude about sex and love was administered to a group of psychology students. Results showed that Agapic lovers are willing to place their lover's happiness and needs before their own and endure all suffering and all things for the sake of their lover. Whatever they own is their lover's and no argument or strife will change that unconditional love.<ref name=":0" /> Agape love is often referenced with religious meaning and is signified by the colour orange.

Agapic lovers view their partners as blessings and wish to take care of them. The Agapic lover gets more pleasure from giving in a relationship than from receiving. They will remain faithful to their partners to avoid causing them pain and often wait patiently for their partners after a break-up. Agape requires one to be forgiving, patient, understanding, loyal, and willing to make sacrifices for their partner. An Agapic lover believes that this love is unconditional, though lovers taking an Agapic stance on relationships risk suffering from inattention to their own needs. The advantage of Agapic love is its generosity.

=== Pragma === Pragma comes from the Ancient Greek term {{wikt-lang|grc|πρᾶγμα}}, meaning 'businesslike', from which terms like ''pragmatic'' are derived. Lee defines pragma as the most practical type of love, not necessarily derived out of true romantic love. Rather, pragma is a convenient type of love.

Pragmatic lovers have a notion of being of service which they perceive to be rational and realistic. They tend to select and reject partners based on what they perceive as desirable, compatible traits. Pragmatic lovers want to find value in their partners, and ultimately want to work with their partners to reach a common goal.<ref>Chao, Y. S. (2012). Intercultural Communications: Impacts on marriage and family relationships. WestBow Press.</ref> The emphasis within pragmatic relationships is on earning, affordability, child care, and/or home service.

Lee's recognizable traits:<ref name="auto"/> * Certain of their preferable "types". * Begins a relationship with an already familiar person. * Believes a loving relationship is desirable for a happy life. * Expects reciprocation of feelings. * Believes sexual compatibility can be worked out.

== Tertiary types of love == Lee defines nine types of tertiary types of love that are combinations of the previous six types of love. Each combination includes one primary and one secondary. # Manic eros # Manic ludus # Manic storge # Agapic eros # Agapic ludus # Agapic storge # Pragmatic eros # Pragmatic ludus # Pragmatic storge

Though Lee names each of the tertiary types of love, he never found enough evidence to distinguish them fully.<ref>{{cite book|last1=Lee|first1=John A|title=Colours of Life: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving|publisher=new press|pages=156}}</ref>

== Measurement == Clyde Hendrick and Susan Hendrick of Texas Tech University expanded on this theory in the mid-1980s with their extensive research on what they called "love styles". Their study found that male students tend to be more Ludic, whereas female students tend to be Storgic and Pragmatic.<ref>{{cite web |url=http://www.confisus.co.uk/mindlabs/blackeyedsusan/Documents/Hendrick%20and%20Hendrick%20Love%20attitudes.pdf |title=Archived copy |access-date=2014-12-19 |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20141219175815/http://www.confisus.co.uk/mindlabs/blackeyedsusan/Documents/Hendrick%20and%20Hendrick%20Love%20attitudes.pdf |archive-date=2014-12-19 }}</ref> Whilst the Ludic love style may predominate in men under age thirty, studies on more mature men have shown that the majority of them do indeed mature into desiring monogamy, marriage, and providing for their family by age thirty.<ref>{{cite journal|title=Why do men marry and why do they stray?|first1=Jeffrey|last1=Winking|first2=Hillard|last2=Kaplan|first3=Michael|last3=Gurven|first4=Stacey|last4=Rucas|date=7 July 2007|journal=Proceedings of the Royal Society of London B: Biological Sciences|volume=274|issue=1618|pages=1643–1649|doi=10.1098/rspb.2006.0437|pmid=17456459|pmc=2169272}}</ref><ref>{{cite journal|title=Genetic variation in the vasopressin receptor 1a gene (AVPR1A) associates with pair-bonding behavior in humans|first1=Hasse|last1=Walum|first2=Lars|last2=Westberg|first3=Susanne|last3=Henningsson|first4=Jenae M.|last4=Neiderhiser|first5=David|last5=Reiss|first6=Wilmar|last6=Igl|first7=Jody M.|last7=Ganiban|first8=Erica L.|last8=Spotts|first9=Nancy L.|last9=Pedersen|first10=Elias|last10=Eriksson|first11=Paul|last11=Lichtenstein|date=16 September 2008|journal=Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences|volume=105|issue=37|pages=14153–14156|doi=10.1073/pnas.0803081105|pmid=18765804|pmc=2533683|bibcode=2008PNAS..10514153W|doi-access=free}}</ref>

Hendrick and Hendrick (1986) developed a self-report questionnaire measure of Lee's love styles, known as the Love Attitudes Scale (LAS).<ref name=":0">{{cite journal |vauthors=Hendrick C, Hendrick SS |title=A theory and method of love |journal=Journal of Personality and Social Psychology |volume=50 |issue=2 |pages=392–402 |date=Feb 1986 |doi=10.1037/0022-3514.50.2.392}}</ref> A shortened version of the LAS, presumably for researchers trying to keep their surveys as concise as possible, was later published,<ref>{{cite journal |vauthors=Hendrick C, Hendrick SS, Dicke A |title=The Love Attitudes Scale: Short form |journal=J Pers Soc Psychol |volume=15 |issue=2 |pages=147–59 |year=1998 |doi=10.1177/0265407598152001 |s2cid=145583028 }}</ref> and other variations appear to have been used by some researchers. Respondents indicate their level of agreement or disagreement with the LAS items, examples of which include "My partner and I have the right physical 'chemistry'" (eros) and "Our love is the best kind because it grew out of a long friendship" (storge). Depending on the version of the LAS one administers, there are from 3 to 7 items for each of the six styles described above. A 2002 article illustrated the use of the LAS.<ref>{{cite journal |vauthors=Fricker J, Moore S |title=Relationship Satisfaction: The role of Love Styles and Attachment Styles |journal=Current Research in Social Psychology |volume=7 |issue=11 |year=2002 |url=http://www.uiowa.edu/~grpproc/crisp/crisp.7.11.htm |access-date=2016-05-08 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080117182741/http://www.uiowa.edu/~grpproc/crisp/crisp.7.11.htm |archive-date=2008-01-17 |url-status=dead }}</ref>

== Biological view == In 2007, researchers from the University of Pavia led by Enzo Emanuele provided evidence of a genetic basis for individual variations in Lee's love styles, with Eros being linked to the dopamine system and mania to the serotonin system.<ref>{{cite journal |vauthors=Emanuele E, Brondino N, Pesenti S, Re S, Geroldi D |title=Genetic loading on human loving styles |journal=Neuro Endocrinol Lett |volume=28 |issue=6 |pages=815–21 |date=Dec 2007 |pmid=18063936 |url=https://www.nel.edu/userfiles/articlesnew/NEL280607A06.pdf}}</ref> In this genetic study of 350 lovers, the Eros style was found to be present more often in those bearing the ''Taq''I A1 allele of the DRD2 3' UTR sequence and the overlapping ANKK1 exon 8. This allele has been proposed to influence a wide range of behaviors, favoring obesity and alcoholism but opposing neuroticism-anxiety and juvenile delinquency.<ref>{{cite web |url=https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/gene?Db=gene&Cmd=ShowDetailView&TermToSearch=1813&ordinalpos=2&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Gene.Gene_ResultsPanel.Gene_RVDocSum|title=NCBI Gene summary for DRD2 (interim reference)}}</ref> This genetic variation has been hypothesized to cause a reduced amount of pleasure to be obtained from a given action, causing people to indulge more frequently.<ref>{{cite news |url=https://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSTRE49F9CC20081016|title=Milkshake study reveals brain's role in obesity | work=Reuters | date=16 October 2008}}</ref>

== See also == {{Portal|Human sexuality|Philosophy|Psychology}}

* Diotima of Mantinea * Greek words for love * Love * Passionate and companionate love * ''The Four Loves'' by C. S. Lewis * Theories of love * Triangular theory of love

== References == {{reflist|30em}}

== External links == * http://www.psychologycharts.com/six-love-styles.html * http://www.intropsych.com/ch16_sfl/six_types_of_love.html * https://web.archive.org/web/20160615202623/http://www.rv337.com/vimages/shared/vnews/stories/4b55e440aa0d7/John%20Lee's%20Love%20Theory.pdf

Category:Love Category:Psychological theories