Ghosting (behavior)

{{Short description|Stopping all communication with a person}} {{Use mdy dates|date=May 2024}} {{Close relationships}} '''Ghosting''' is a colloquial term for the practice of suddenly ending all communication and avoiding contact with another person without any apparent warning or explanation and ignoring any subsequent attempts to communicate.<ref>{{cite journal |last1=Daraj |first1=Lateefa Rashed |last2=Buhejji |first2=Mariam Rashid |last3=Perlmutter |first3=Gretta |last4=Jahrami |first4=Haitham |last5=Seeman |first5=Mary V. |title=Ghosting: Abandonment in the Digital Era |journal=Encyclopedia |date=2023 |volume=4 |issue=1 |pages=36–45 |doi=10.3390/encyclopedia4010004 |doi-access=free|hdl=1807/137213 |hdl-access=free }}</ref> With increased digital communication, ghosting is often seen as an easy escape from confrontation or emotional discomfort, facilitated by the anonymity and convenience of online platforms.<ref>{{Cite news|last=Safronova|first=Valeriya|url=https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/26/fashion/exes-explain-ghosting-the-ultimate-silent-treatment.html|title=Exes Explain Ghosting, the Ultimate Silent Treatment|date=June 26, 2015|work=The New York Times|access-date=February 10, 2020|language=en-US|issn=0362-4331}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.mic.com/articles/134418/where-did-the-term-ghosted-come-from-origin-of-the-web-s-favorite-term-for-abandonment|title=Where Did the Term "Ghosted" Come From? Origin of the Web's Favorite Term for Abandonment|website=Mic|date=February 5, 2016 |language=en|access-date=February 10, 2020}}</ref><ref>{{cite web |title=Why Ghosting Is Leading the World's Mental Health Crisis {{!}} Psychology Today |url=https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-power-slow/201710/why-ghosting-is-leading-the-worlds-mental-health-crisis |website=www.psychologytoday.com |access-date=July 1, 2021 |language=en}}</ref>

The term originated in the early 2000s{{cn|date=May 2026}}, typically referring to dating and romantic relationships. In the following decade, the use of the term increased, which has been attributed to the increasing popularity of social media and online dating apps. The term has also expanded to refer to similar practices among friends, family members, employers and businesses.<ref>{{Cite magazine|title=Friendship Ghosting Is Real|url=https://time.com/4779713/friendship-ghosting/|access-date=June 13, 2021|magazine=Time|language=en|archive-date=July 27, 2021|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20210727133112/https://time.com/4779713/friendship-ghosting/|url-status=dead}}</ref><ref>{{Cite news|date=May 26, 2021|title='I've been ghosted by my insurer'|language=en-GB|work=BBC News|url=https://www.bbc.com/news/business-57258456|access-date=June 13, 2021}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web|title = I Was Ghosted by One of My Closest Friends|url = http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a45446/friend-ghosted-me/|website = Cosmopolitan|date = August 27, 2015|access-date = February 3, 2016}}</ref>

A person who 'ghosts' may have limited awareness of how it will make the other person feel. Ghosting is associated with negative mental health effects on the person on the receiving end and has been described by some mental health professionals as a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse or cruelty.<ref name=":0">{{Cite news |title=Why Ghosting Hurts So Much |work=Psychology Today |url=https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201511/why-ghosting-hurts-so-much |access-date=February 3, 2016}}</ref>

== Origin of term == The term is used in the context of online exchanges,<ref>{{cite news|author1=Bartz, Andrea |author2=Ehrlich, Brenna |title=Don't be offended by online-dating rejection|work=Netiquette|publisher=CNN|url=http://www.cnn.com/2011/TECH/web/04/14/online.dating.netiquette/index.html |date=April 14, 2011}}</ref> and became popular by 2015 through many articles on high-profile celebrity relationship dissolutions,<ref>{{Cite web|title = Charlize Theron Broke Up With Sean Penn By Ghosting Him|url = http://jezebel.com/charlize-theron-broke-up-with-sean-penn-by-ghosting-him-1712760688|website = Jezebel|access-date = February 3, 2016|first = Stassa|last = Edwards| date=June 20, 2015 }}</ref><ref>{{Cite web|title = Charlize Theron Gets a Black Belt in Ghosting|url = http://nymag.com/thecut/2015/06/charlize-theron-gets-a-black-belt-in-ghosting.html|website = The Cut| date=June 19, 2015 |access-date = February 3, 2016}}</ref> and went on to be widely used. It has been the subject of many articles<ref>{{Cite web|title = The Common 21st-Century Dating Problem No One Knows How To Deal With|url = http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/30/ghosting-dating-_n_6028958.html|website = The Huffington Post| date=October 30, 2014 |access-date = February 3, 2016}}</ref> and discussions<ref>{{Cite news|title = Exes Explain Ghosting, the Ultimate Silent Treatment|url = https://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/26/fashion/exes-explain-ghosting-the-ultimate-silent-treatment.html|newspaper = The New York Times|date = June 26, 2015|access-date = February 3, 2016|issn = 0362-4331|first = Valeriya|last = Safronova}}</ref> on dating and relationships in various media. It was included in the ''Collins English Dictionary'' in 2015.<ref>{{Cite news|title = 'Ghosting' is now in the dictionary - so is dating etiquette dead?|url = https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/ghosting-dating-tinder-added-to-dictionary-etiquette-a6724096.html|work= The Independent|access-date = February 3, 2016}}</ref>

== Interpersonal relationships == === Romantic relationships === [[File:Whatsapp chatting outdoor 20180808.jpg|thumb|A person recreationally text messaging using WhatsApp]] People primarily ghost in relationships as a way of avoiding emotional discomfort they are having in a relationship, and may not take into consideration how it will make the person they are ghosting feel. A survey from ''BuzzFeed'' indicated that 81% of people who ghosted did so because they "weren't into" the person they ghosted, 64% said the person they ghosted did something they disliked, and 25% stated they were angry with the person.<ref name=":1">{{cite web |title=8 Reasons People Ghost (Beyond "They're Just A Jerk"), From Experts |url=https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/reasons-people-ghost-in-dating |website=mindbodygreen |access-date=July 2, 2021 |language=en |date=June 24, 2020}}</ref> Ghosting was found to be more common in non-committed casual dating and less frequent in committed relationships.<ref name="e334">{{cite journal | last1=Koessler | first1=Rebecca B. | last2=Kohut | first2=Taylor | last3=Campbell | first3=Lorne | title=When Your Boo Becomes a Ghost: The Association Between Breakup Strategy and Breakup Role in Experiences of Relationship Dissolution | journal=Collabra: Psychology | volume=5 | issue=1 | date=2019 | issn=2474-7394 | doi=10.1525/collabra.230 | url=https://online.ucpress.edu/collabra/article/5/1/29/113028/When-Your-Boo-Becomes-a-Ghost-The-Association | access-date=2026-05-07 | page=| hdl=2078.1/262832 | hdl-access=free }}</ref>

In 2014, a YouGov survey was taken to see if Americans have ever ghosted their partner to end a relationship. In that survey, 1,000 US adults were interviewed about ghosting, yielding the result that just over 10% of Americans have ghosted someone to break up with them.<ref>{{Cite web |title=Poll Results: Ghosting {{!}} YouGov |url=https://today.yougov.com/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2014/10/28/poll-results-ghosting |access-date=February 10, 2020 |website=today.yougov.com |language=en-us}}</ref>

A 2018 survey determined women were much more likely to ghost than men.<ref name=Bustle>{{Cite web|title=Women Are More Likely To Ghost Someone They're Dating Than Men — And There's A Very Good Reason For That|url=https://www.bustle.com/p/women-are-more-likely-to-ghost-someone-theyre-dating-than-men-theres-a-very-good-reason-for-that-8963133|access-date=March 25, 2021|website=Bustle|date=May 3, 2018 |language=en}}</ref>

=== Motivations === A 2024 study found that ghosting, while often perceived as a lack of care, is frequently motivated by prosocial intentions, with ghosters aiming to avoid causing direct emotional pain.<ref name="t612">{{cite journal | last1=Park | first1=YeJin | last2=Klein | first2=Nadav | title=Ghosting: Social rejection without explanation, but not without care. | journal=Journal of Experimental Psychology: General | volume=153 | issue=7 | date=2024 | issn=1939-2222 | doi=10.1037/xge0001590 | pages=1765–1789 | url=https://doi.apa.org/doi/10.1037/xge0001590 | access-date=2026-05-07| url-access=subscription }}</ref> The study found that ghostees significantly underestimate the care ghosters have for them, highlighting a disconnect between ghosters' intentions and ghostees' perceptions. Some women were motivated by conflict avoidance to ghost.<ref name=Bustle/>

Ghosting has become more prevalent.<ref>{{cite web |last1=Treadway |first1=David |last2=Perel |first2=Esther |title=ASK ESTHER: Stable ambiguity and the rise of ghosting, icing and simmering {{!}} PESI |url=https://www.pesi.com/blogs/ask-esther-stable-ambiguity-and-the-rise-of-ghosting-icing-and-simmering/?srsltid=AfmBOoqiIavQ6A878sssNuU3d9hKDVmwRiZFRMAFcppE3g8bGRulGWHt |website=pesi.com |publisher=PESI |access-date=15 April 2026}}<br />{{cite web |last1=Perel |first1=Esther |last2=Miller |first2=Mary Alice |title=Relationship Accountability {{!}} Esther Perel |url=https://www.estherperel.com/blog/relationship-accountability |website=estherperel.com |date=21 July 2017 |access-date=15 April 2026}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web |date=November 10, 2015 |title=I Asked Men Why They Ghosted Me |url=https://www.vice.com/en/article/i-asked-men-why-they-ghosted-me-511/ |access-date=February 3, 2016 |website=VICE |location=United States}}</ref> The more commonplace the behavior becomes, the more individuals can become desensitized to it, thus making people more likely to engage in ghosting.<ref name=":0" />

Online platforms tend to exacerbate ghosting, as they create environments where people feel less accountable for their actions.<ref name="toma-choi-2016">{{Citation |last1=Toma |first1=Catalina |last2=Choi |first2=Mina |date=February 27, 2016 |title=Mobile Media Matters: Media Use and Relationship Satisfaction among Geographically Close Dating Couples |url=https://www.academia.edu/16752532/Mobile_media_matters_Media_use_and_relationship_satisfaction_among_geographically_collocated_dating_couples |journal= |volume= |issue= |publisher=Association for Computing Machinery |doi=10.1145/2818048.2835204 |access-date=February 2, 2026}}</ref> When a relationship is online and there are few mutual social connections in the relationship, people are more inclined to ghost due to the lack of social consequences. Other factors which been implicated for causing ghosting include social media, dating apps, polarizing politics, and the relative anonymity and isolation in modern-day dating and hookup culture, which make it easier to sever contact with few social repercussions.<ref>{{Cite web |title=And Then I Never Heard From Him Again: The Awful Rise of Ghosting |url=http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/advice/and-then-i-never-heard-from-him-again-the-awful-rise-of-ghosting/ |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20140820064044/http://www.thedatereport.com/dating/advice/and-then-i-never-heard-from-him-again-the-awful-rise-of-ghosting/ |archive-date=August 20, 2014 |access-date=February 3, 2016 |website=The Date Report}}</ref>

Research by Larissa Barber and Alecia Santuzzi highlights the concept of "telepressure", a form of emotional distress that occurs when someone feels compelled to respond quickly to digital messages.<ref name="barber-2014">{{Cite journal |last1=Barber |first1=Larissa K |last2=Santuzzi |first2=Alecia M |date=November 2014 |title=Please Respond ASAP: Workplace Telepressure and Employee Recovery |url=https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fa0038278 |journal=Journal of Occupational Health Psychology |volume=20 |issue=2 |publisher= |pages=172-189 |doi=10.25204/iktisad.1658353 |access-date=February 2, 2026|doi-access=free }}</ref> The longer a person waits without receiving a response, the greater the emotional strain becomes.

According to Psychologist Kelsey M. Latimer, people who ghost in relationships are more likely to have personality traits and behaviors that are self-centered, avoidant, and manipulative.<ref>{{cite web |title=Here's How To Search Through Instagram Comments |url=https://www.bustle.com/life/how-to-search-for-instagram-comments |website=Bustle |date=July 2021 |access-date=July 1, 2021 |language=en}}</ref> However, ghosting could also be a sign of self-isolation seen in people with depression, suicidal tendencies, or are relapsing with an addiction.<ref>{{cite web |title=When ghosting is a sign of suicide or relapse {{!}} |url=https://annemoss.com/2020/03/11/when-ghosting-is-a-sign-of-suicide/ |access-date=July 1, 2021 |date=March 12, 2020}}</ref>

=== Consequences === There is limited research directly on the effect of ghosting on the person on the receiving end. However, studies have indicated that ghosting is considered one of the most hurtful ways to end a relationship in comparison to other methods such as direct confrontation.<ref>{{cite web |last1=Gholipour|first1=Bahar |title=Why Do People Ghost? |url=https://www.livescience.com/64661-why-people-ghost.html |website=livescience.com |date=February 2, 2019 |access-date=July 1, 2021 |language=en}}</ref> It has been shown to cause feelings of ostracism, exclusion, social rejection, and frustration. Additionally, the lack of social cues along with the ambiguity in ghosting can cause a form of emotional dysregulation in which a person feels out of control.<ref>{{cite web |title=Why Ghosting Hurts So Much |url=https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201511/why-ghosting-hurts-so-much |website=Psychology Today |access-date=July 1, 2021 |language=en}}</ref> Some mental health professionals consider ghosting to be a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse, a type of silent treatment or stonewalling behavior, and emotional cruelty.<ref name=":0"/>

== Employment == === Ghost jobs === {{main|Ghost job}} In employment, ghost jobs refer to false job posting where a person who interviews for a job and is led to believe there is a chance of getting the job, then no acknowledgement of the position being filled is ever conveyed to the interviewee.<ref>{{cite web|title=Employer 'ghosting' a reality after a job interview: Ethically Speaking|website=Toronto Star |date=September 25, 2015 |url=https://www.thestar.com/life/2015/09/25/employer-ghosting-a-reality-after-a-job-interview-ethically-speaking.html|accessdate=June 6, 2016}}</ref><ref>{{cite web|last1=Maloney|first1=Devon|title=Just Checking In Again|url=https://www.good.is/articles/issue-37-just-checking-in-again|website=good.is|date=June 6, 2016 |accessdate=June 6, 2016}}</ref><ref name="Cerullo">{{cite news |last1=Cerullo |first1=Megan |title=That job you applied for might not exist. Here's what's behind a boom in "ghost jobs." - CBS News |url=https://www.cbsnews.com/news/fake-job-listing-ghost-jobs-cbs-news-explains/ |access-date=30 June 2024 |work=www.cbsnews.com |date=27 June 2024}}</ref>

Ghost job postings create a false sense of hope and breed distrust.<ref name="Dennison"/> Employers create ghost job postings to gauge the market and have a readily available talent pool when they are ready to hire.<ref name="Dennison">{{cite news |last1=Dennison |first1=Kara |title=How Ghost Job Postings Are Creating A False Sense Of Hope |url=https://www.forbes.com/sites/karadennison/2023/11/27/how-ghost-job-postings-are-creating-a-false-sense-of-hope/ |access-date=30 June 2024 |work=Forbes |date=Nov 27, 2023 |language=en}}</ref>

=== Employee ghosting === Employee ghosting refers to people accepting job offers and cutting off contact with the potential employer, as well as employees leaving their jobs without any notice.<ref>{{Cite web|last=Gilchrist|first=Karen|date=April 24, 2019|title=Employees keep 'ghosting' their job offers — and Gen Zs are leading the charge|url=https://www.cnbc.com/2019/04/24/employees-are-ghosting-their-job-offers-gen-z-is-leading-the-charge.html|access-date=June 9, 2021|website=CNBC|language=en}}</ref><ref>{{Cite news|title=Workers are ghosting their employers like bad dates|language=en-US|newspaper=Washington Post|url=https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2018/12/12/workers-are-ghosting-their-employers-like-bad-dates/|access-date=June 9, 2021|issn=0190-8286}}</ref><ref>{{cite news |last1=Schooley |first1=Skye |title=Boo! The Scary Reality of Employee Ghosting |url=https://www.business.com/articles/employee-ghosting/ |access-date=30 June 2024 |work=business.com |date=Oct 6, 2023 |language=en}}</ref> This behavior reflects the broader trend of ghosting in workplace, where individuals may avoid the discomfort of confrontation or formal resignation by simply ghosting.

== Related terms and behaviors == While "ghosting" refers to "disappearing from a special someone's life mysteriously and without explanation",<ref>{{cite news|work=Boston Globe|author=Peters, Mark|title=How Tinder and OKCupid spawned a new genre of slang|url=https://www.bostonglobe.com/ideas/2017/06/01/ghosting-breadcrumbing-cushioning-america-swipes-right-dating-lingo/gRaVU21aldAi9abT6ffbMM/story.html}}</ref> numerous similar behaviors have been identified, that include various degrees of continued connection with a target.<ref>{{cite news|work=Self|author=Lanquist, Lindsey |title=Breadcrumbing, Stashing, and Other Internet Dating Slang I Wish You Didn't Need to Know |url=https://www.self.com/story/internet-dating-slang|date=September 29, 2017}}</ref><ref>{{cite news|work=Cosmopolitan|author=Swantek, Samantha|title=Breadcrumbing Is the New Ghosting and It's Savage AF|url=http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a8643616/breadcrumbing-is-the-new-ghosting-and-its-savage-af/}}</ref><ref>{{cite news|work=Economic Times|location=India|url=https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/lingo-jingo-update-your-dictionary-with-these-new-age-dating-terms/articleshow/64168290.cms|title=Breadcrumbing, orbiting and more: Update your dating dictionary with these new-age terms|author=Alves, Glynda|date=May 15, 2018}}</ref> For example, there is the sentimental and positive, but also ghost-related in origin, Marleying, which is "when an ex gets in touch with you at Christmas out of nowhere". "Cloaking" is another related behavior<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://mashable.com/video/what-is-cloaking-online-dating-term/|title='I was cloaked.' What it's like to be blocked and stood up by your Hinge date.|last=Dermentzi|first=Maria|website=Mashable|date=April 3, 2019 |access-date=May 11, 2019}}</ref> that occurs when an online match blocks someone on all apps while standing them up for a date. The term was coined by Mashable journalist Rachel Thompson after she was stood up for a date by a Hinge match and blocked on all apps.<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://mashable.com/article/online-dating-blocked-stood-up/|title=My Hinge match invited me to dinner and blocked me as I waited for our table|last=Thompson|first=Rachel|website=Mashable|date=August 24, 2018 |access-date=May 11, 2019}}</ref> Ghosting, marleying and cloaking may be seen as belonging to a family of related behavior, but the exact same behavior may be explained by different causes, potentially differing significantly, especially in severity.{{cn|date=May 2024}}

"Orbiting" is an English term used colloquially and its meaning is closely related to ghosting. It occurs in love and friendship relationships, in which one wants to stop having an intimate relationship. However, contact is not completely lost, since the one who "abandons" continues to show signs to the other, especially through social media. They may even interact with the abandoned one, but in a very superficial way, such as liking their posts or viewing their stories, but not replying to any direct message or taking their calls.<ref>{{Cite web |date=February 10, 2022 |title=Orbiting: qué es y cómo afecta a las relaciones tras una ruptura |url=https://psicologiaymente.com/social/orbiting |access-date=July 21, 2023 |website=psicologiaymente.com |language=es}}</ref> Anna Lovine, who coined the expression, explained the trend as the following: the orbiter keeps you "close enough to see each other; far enough never to talk". The word appeared for the first time as a pre-selection for the Word of the Year 2018 in Oxford, in which orbiting is defined as "the action of abruptly withdrawing from direct communication with someone while still monitoring, and sometimes responding to, their activity on social media".<ref name=":02">{{cite web |title=Word of the Year 2018 - Shortlist {{!}} Oxford Languages |url=https://languages.oup.com/word-of-the-year/2018-shortlist/ |access-date=July 21, 2023 |website=languages.oup.com |language=en-GB}}</ref>

== See also == {{portal|Psychology}}   * {{Annotated link |Breadcrumbing}} * {{Annotated link |Career catfishing}} * {{Annotated link |Cold shoulder}} * {{Annotated link |Coping (psychology)}} * {{Annotated link |Cowardice}} * {{Annotated link |Cry room}} * {{Annotated link |Ostracism}} * {{Annotated link |Shadow banning}} * {{Annotated link |Social rejection}} * {{Annotated link |Stonewalling}}

== References == {{Reflist}}

Category:Generation Z slang Category:Shunning Category:Social rejection Category:Online dating Category:21st-century neologisms Category:Group processes Category:Interpersonal relationships Category:Psychological abuse Category:Relationship breakup Category:Millennials Category:2000s slang