{{Short description|Party held for a woman who is about to get married}} right|thumb|280px|An American bachelorette party, with the bride-to-be wearing a veil, at left|alt=A group of women gathered around a table in an outdoor setting, dressed in a mix of casual and dressy styles. At the left of the image is a woman wearing a veil on the back of her head.
A '''bachelorette party''' (United States and Canada) or '''hen night''' (United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand) is a party held for a woman (the bride or bride-to-be) who will soon be married. While Beth Montemurro concludes that the bachelorette party is modeled after the centuries-old stag night in the US,<ref name="isbn0-06-074504-5">{{cite book|last=Post|first=Peggy|author-link=Peggy Post|title=Emily Post's wedding etiquette|edition=5|publisher=Collins|location=London|year=2006|pages=[https://archive.org/details/emilypostsweddin00pegg/page/183 183–184]|isbn=0-06-074504-5|url=https://archive.org/details/emilypostsweddin00pegg/page/183}}</ref> which is itself historically a dinner given by the bridegroom to his friends shortly before his wedding, Sheila Young argues that its British counterpart evolved from a number of earlier pre-wedding traditions for women (Ribbon Girl, Pay Off, Bosola, Taking Out, Jumping the Chanty, to name but a few) whose origins are obscure but which have been around for at least a century in factories and offices across the UK.<ref>Young, Sheila, 'Prenuptial Rituals in Scotland: Blackening the Bride and Decorating the Hen' (Lexington Books, 2019)</ref> Despite its reputation as "a sodden farewell to maiden days" or "an evening of debauchery", these events can simply be parties given in honor of the bride-to-be, in the style that is common to that social circle.<ref name="isbn0-06-074504-5"/>
==Terminology== The term ''bachelorette party'' or simply ''bachelorette'' is common in the United States and Canada. In the United Kingdom and Ireland it is known as a '''hen(s) party''', '''hen(s) night''' or '''hen(s) do''', while the terms ''hens party'' or ''hens night'' are common in Australia and New Zealand. The term '''stagette''' is occasionally used in Canada.<ref>{{cite book|editor-last=Barber|editor-first=Katherine|title=Canadian Oxford Dictionary|edition=2|publisher=Oxford University Press|location=Oxford [Oxfordshire]|year=2004|isbn=0-19-541816-6}}</ref> It may also be referred to as a ''girls' night out'' or ''kitchen tea'' (South Africa in particular) or other terms in other English-speaking countries.
Other pre-wedding celebrations, such as '''bridesmaids' luncheons''', are often held instead of bachelorette parties due to the latter's association with licentiousness in some countries since the 1980s.<ref>{{cite book|last=Adam|first=Elise Mac |title=Something New: Wedding Etiquette for Rule Breakers, Traditionalists, and Everyone in Between |date=19 February 2008|publisher=Simon and Schuster|language=en |isbn=9781416958093 |page=52}}</ref><ref name="Haire-2009"/>
==History== Before its usage as a term for a pre-wedding party, ''hen party'' was used in the United States as a general term for an all-female gathering, usually held at a hostess's residence. In 1897, ''The Deseret News'' noted that a hen party was a "time honored idea that tea and chitchats, gossip smart hats, constitute the necessary adjuncts to these particular gatherings".<ref>{{cite web| url= https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=BLhLAAAAIBAJ&pg=6867,6158820&dq=hen-party&hl=en| title= Hen Party is Great Fun| work= The Deseret News |page= 12|date= December 18, 1897| access-date= June 27, 2016}}</ref> In 1940 Eleanor Roosevelt was described as hosting a Christmas-time hen party for cabinet wives and "ladies of the press".<ref>{{cite web| title= Gridiron Widows Visited by Santa| agency= Associated Press| location= Washington| date= December 15, 1940| page=B-9| url=https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=fjtPAAAAIBAJ&pg=4017,4940452&dq=hen-party&hl=en| work=St. Petersburg Times |access-date= June 27, 2016}}</ref><ref>{{cite web| url= https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=9iEhAAAAIBAJ&pg=6361,456699&dq=hen-party&hl=en| title= And, Too, How Much Should Wives Tell Husbands| first= Hal| last= Boyle | work= Sarasota Herald-Tribune |page= 4|location= New York| date= September 6, 1951| access-date= June 27, 2016}}</ref><ref>{{cite web| url= https://news.google.com/newspapers?id=WsYwAAAAIBAJ&pg=3476,2742002&dq=hen-party&hl=en| title= Dorothy Dix Says...| work= Pittsburgh Post-Gazette | page= 12| date= June 10, 1947| access-date= June 27, 2016}}</ref>
The bachelorette party is consciously modeled after the centuries-old bachelor's party,<ref name= isbn0-06-074504-5 /><ref name= isbn0-8135-3811-4 /> which is itself historically a black tie dinner given by the bridegroom,<ref name="1922 Post">{{cite book|last=Post|first=Emily|author-link=Emily Post|title=Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home|url=https://archive.org/details/etiquetteinsoci00postgoog|publisher= Funk & Wagnalls Company|year=1922 |pages=[https://archive.org/details/etiquetteinsoci00postgoog/page/n383 335]–337}}</ref> or sometimes his father,<ref name="Haire-2009">{{cite magazine|url=http://content.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1904885,00.html|title=A Brief History Of Bachelor Parties|last=Haire|first=Meaghan|date=16 June 2009|work=Time|language=en|access-date=15 December 2017|quote=In the past, a bachelor party could commonly involve a black-tie dinner hosted by the groom's father, with toasts to the groom and the bride. The more recent traditions of hazing, humiliation and debauchery—often consuming entire weekends and involving travel to an exotic destination such as Las Vegas or its nearest available facsimile—became a staple of bad 1980s sex comedies.}}</ref> shortly before his wedding.
===Modern adaptations=== upright|right|thumb|A woman dancing on the bar at a bachelorette party in the US The practice of giving a party to honor the bride-to-be goes back for centuries. However, certain American bachelorette party customs involving licentiousness among some social groups may have begun during the sexual revolution of the 1960s. It was uncommon until at least the mid-1980s,<ref name="Haire-2009" /> and the first book on planning bachelorette parties was published only in 1998.<ref name="isbn0-8135-3811-4">{{cite book|last=Montemurro|first=Beth|title=Something old, something bold: bridal showers and bachelorette parties|publisher=Rutgers University Press|location=New Brunswick, New Jersey|year=2006|isbn=0-8135-3811-4}}</ref>
Those uncomfortable with these modern customs of debauchery often celebrate the night before their wedding with a combined stag and doe party, a custom that has become increasingly popular.<ref name="Haire-2009" />
The phrase "hen party" mirrors the male "stag party" in referencing social stereotypes of each gender at the party.<ref>{{cite book | title=Creative compounding in English: the semantics of metaphorical and metonymical noun-noun combinations | first=Réka | last=Benczes | year=2006 | publisher=John Benjamins Publishing Company | isbn=90-272-2373-4 | page=95 | url=https://books.google.com/books?id=eK8R61s_gwQC&q=%22hen+party%22+history&pg=PA95}}</ref>
Since the 1980s, many parties in honor of the bride-to-be that were labeled as bachelorette parties often involved displays of sexual freedom philosophy, such as trading intimate secrets, getting drunk, and watching male strippers.<ref name="Haire-2009"/> Parties that honored the bride-to-be without them avoided that label.<ref name="isbn0-8135-3811-4"/> Now, however, the term is used for a wide variety of parties.<ref name="isbn0-8118-4458-7"/><ref>{{cite book|last=Fox|first=Sue|title=Etiquette For Dummies |publisher=For Dummies|year=2007|isbn=978-0-470-10672-3|quote=Bachelor and bachelorette trends vary from coast to coast and are changing fast in many social circles. Most every type of party is acceptable...|page=294}}</ref>
Bachelorette parties became especially popular around the turn of the 21st century and frequently appeared in the news.<ref>{{cite book|last1=Montemurro|first1=Beth|title=Something Old, Something Bold: Bridal Showers and Bachelorette Parties |year=2006|isbn=9780813538112 |page=2 |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=53_K9J2F5zoC&q=bachelorette+party+1990s+early+2000s&pg=PA40}}</ref>
In 2020 due to the COVID-19 pandemic, there was a rise in "virtual" hen parties with the bride-to-be's celebrating her 'last night of freedom' with her bridesmaids around the world via videotelephony apps such as Zoom and Houseparty.<ref>{{Cite web |title=How to Host a Virtual Hen Party on Zoom |url=https://www.lovelettersandpeonies.com/how-to-host-a-virtual-hen-party-on-zoom/| website=Love Letters & Peonies |date=May 9, 2020}}</ref>
==Entertainment== thumbnail|right|Topless butlers serving guests at a hen party Many different kinds of entertainment are selected, depending on what the organizers think will best please their guest of honor. While proposing a toast to the bride-to-be is common at most bachelorette parties, some center on drinking games. While notions of a bachelorette party as a night of drunken debauchery have persisted in some social circles since the 1980s,<ref name="Haire-2009"/> it is becoming widely seen in America as an opportunity for female bonding.<ref name="isbn0-8118-4458-7">{{cite book |last1=Hughes |first1=Kathleen |first2=Carolyn |last2=Gerin |title=Anti-Bride Etiquette Guide: The Rules — And How to Bend Them |publisher=Chronicle Books |location=San Francisco |year=2004 |pages=[https://archive.org/details/antibrideetiquet00geri/page/90 90, 92] |quote=Squealing girls and strip clubs full of dancing, oily-chested men with socks stuffed in their banana hammocks are becoming a thing of the past. Bonding with your gals is what the bachelorette party is all about, not calling attention to how drunk and tarty you look in public. |isbn=0-8118-4458-7 |url=https://archive.org/details/antibrideetiquet00geri/page/90 }}</ref> According to etiquette expert Peggy Post, "Whatever entertainment is planned, it should not embarrass, humiliate, or endanger the honoree or any of the guests."<ref name="isbn0-06-074504-5"/>
Smaller parties, typically with only close friends and sisters, may involve a night or weekend away, or a private tour such as visiting wineries or art galleries. When held in a private venue, such as the hostess's home, the party may take any form that pleases the hostesses and honors the bride-to-be. Dinners and cocktail parties, which provide comfortable opportunities for participants to talk or to give intimate advice to the bride-to-be, are common.<ref name= isbn0-06-074504-5 /> Other hostesses choose a themed party, such as a "pamper party", with guests indulging in spa treatments, or a cooking class.<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://www.henweekends.co.uk/spa-hen-party/|title=Spa Hen Party {{!}} UK & European Spa Breaks {{!}} Hen Weekends|website=www.henweekends.co.uk|language=en|access-date=2017-09-27}}</ref><ref>{{cite book |first1=Kristen |last1=Finello |first2=Diane |last2=Forden |title=Bridal Guide Magazine's New Etiquette for Today's Bride |publisher=Warner Books |location=New York |year=2005 |pages=[https://archive.org/details/isbn_9780446678223/page/28 28–29] |isbn=0-446-67822-8 |url=https://archive.org/details/isbn_9780446678223/page/28 }}</ref>
In the 21st century, many companies sell products aimed at the organizers of bachelorette parties, including packs of themed games, pre-printed invitations, decorations, novelties, and sex toys. A common theme of parties is male nudity or partial nudity. In North America, it is common in some social circles to hire a male stripper or attend a male strip club. In the UK, a naked butler has become popular at hen parties. Life drawing parties featuring a nude male model might also be held.<ref>{{cite news|title=A bachelorette art party that makes ogling hot naked guys respectable|url=http://www.laweekly.com/arts/a-bachelorette-art-party-that-makes-ogling-hot-naked-guys-respectable-4991034|work=LA Weekly|date=12 August 2014|access-date=17 August 2017}}</ref>
==Organization== Participants are typically all women. Bridesmaids, if any, are typically invited, as are the bride's close friends.<ref name="isbn0-06-074504-5"/> Sisters of the bride are also often invited, while mothers, aunts, teenagers, etc. are sometimes invited depending on the nature of the event at the discretion of the planner and bride-to-be.{{citation needed|date=December 2021}}
This party is typically hosted by one or more members of the wedding party, although it is possible for any friend to host a party in honor of the bride-to-be. Formally, a party in honor of the bride-to-be is never hosted by the bride-to-be,<ref>{{cite news|url=http://www.themorningnews.org/archives/opinions/dont_be_rude_part_iii_socializing.php|title=Don't Be Rude: Part III, Socializing|last=Berry|first=Margaret|date=September 4, 2002|work=The Morning News|quote=Don't throw parties in your own honor. Throwing a birthday party, a shower, or an anniversary party for yourself lacks humility. It also suggests that the party is a poorly camouflaged push for gifts, instead of a heartfelt expression of affection from a dear friend.|access-date=2008-08-23}}</ref> although she may participate in its planning. While it is normally the duty of a hostess to pay for the entertainment she gives her guests, it is common in most English-speaking countries for participants to share the costs of this event.<ref name="isbn0-06-074504-5"/> Whether the bride-to-be pays her share, or whether her share is divided between other participants is determined by the organizers and the bride-to-be during the early stages of the planning process.
Participating in a bachelorette party is always optional, and many brides decline these parties altogether.<ref name="isbn0-06-074504-5"/> Neither bridesmaids nor other friends can be required either to attend or to pay for any part of this party.<ref>{{cite book|last=Martin|first=Judith|author-link=Judith Martin|title=Miss Manners on Weddings|publisher=Crown Publishers|location=New York|year=1999|pages=[https://archive.org/details/missmannersonwed00mart/page/136 136–137]|isbn=0-609-60431-7|quote=Contrary to rumor, bridesmaids are not obliged to entertain in honor of the bride, nor to wear dresses they cannot afford.|url=https://archive.org/details/missmannersonwed00mart/page/136}}</ref>
Since it is derived from a formal dinner, a bachelorette party is often held in the evening,<ref name="1922 Post"/> usually about a week (or at least a few days) before the wedding,<ref name="isbn0-06-074504-5"/> and usually includes dinner, although alternative approaches are not uncommon.<ref name="isbn0-06-074504-5"/>
==Role of alcohol== In the early 21st century, some bachelorette parties rivaled the drunkenness seen in Hollywood portrayals of bachelor parties.<ref name="Castaneda-2017">{{Cite news|url=https://health.usnews.com/wellness/articles/2017-07-12/how-to-plan-a-sober-bachelorette-or-bachelor-celebration|title=How to Plan a Sober Bachelorette or Bachelor Celebration|last=Castaneda|first=Ruben|date=12 July 2017|work=U.S. News & World Report|access-date=2018-04-08}}</ref>
However, sober bachelorette parties are not unusual.<ref name="Castaneda-2017" /> Many brides and guests are staying sober in recovery from alcoholism or are not drinking alcoholic beverages due to pregnancy or health issues, for religious reasons, or because they do not want to drink alcohol.<ref>{{Cite news|url=https://www.brides.com/story/how-to-survive-a-bachelorette-when-youre-sober|title=Surviving a Bachelorette Party When You're Sober|last=Emery|first=Léa Rose|date=11 August 2017|work=Brides|access-date=2018-04-09|language=en}}</ref> Sober parties focus on building relationships and activities beyond hanging out at a place that serves alcohol.<ref name="Castaneda-2017" />
==Location== Many bachelorette parties are held at home or at a nearby restaurant. Some people turn a bachelorette party into a weekend trip to another city. Some cities, such as Austin for people in the southwestern US and Nashville for people in the Upper Midwest, are relatively popular with US bridal parties that are seeking a weekend destination and can afford to pay hundreds of dollars per person for the experience.<ref name="Petersen-2018">{{Cite news|url=https://www.buzzfeed.com/annehelenpetersen/how-nashville-became-one-big-bachelorette-party|title=How Nashville Became One Big Bachelorette Party|last=Petersen|first=Anne Helen|date=29 March 2018|work=BuzzFeed|access-date=2018-04-09|language=en}}</ref> Other people will travel farther to cities such as Las Vegas. In the UK, parties in relatively inexpensive European destinations such as Latvia and the Canary Islands are popular.
One reason that bridal parties travel to a different city is because they want to behave differently than they normally would, but they do not want to deal with the social repercussions that might ensue if friends, family members, or professional acquaintances saw them doing this.<ref name="Petersen-2018" /> When large numbers of bachelor and bachelorette parties choose the same cities, this can produce extra jobs and new businesses to cater to them, but it also draws complaints from local residents who are faced with the disruption and public service costs caused by the seasonal influx of noisy parties and drunken visitors.<ref name="Petersen-2018" /> Stag parties caused so much disruption in Riga, Latvia that the city formed a police group specifically to deal with bachelor and bachelorette parties.<ref>{{Cite news|url=https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/5101628.stm|title=Stagflation|date=2006-06-21|work=BBC|access-date=2018-04-09|language=en-GB}}</ref>
==Alternatives== A more traditional alternative is the ''bridesmaids luncheon'', hosted by friends of the bride's mother or mothers of the bridesmaids, usually given the day before the wedding. Attendees include the bridesmaids, their mothers and close female friends and relatives; the event is often multi-generational including mothers and even grandmothers of the bride and groom. The purpose of the luncheon is for the bride to thank her attendants, and it is customary for her to present each bridesmaid with a small gift. This is also the time when the bridesmaids' gift, if any, is customarily given to the bride. If there is a cake, it may contain symbolic good luck charms.
If a significant aspect of the party is presenting small gifts to the bride-to-be, then the event is properly called a bridal shower. For the convenience of the bride-to-be, bridal showers are usually held earlier than a bachelorette party.<ref>{{cite book|last1=Vanderbilt |first1=Amy |last2=Tuckerman |first2=Nancy |last3=Dunnan |first3=Nancy |author1-link=Amy Vanderbilt|title=The Amy Vanderbilt Complete Book of Etiquette|url=https://archive.org/details/amyvanderbiltcom00tuck |url-access=limited |publisher=Doubleday|location=Garden City, N.Y|year=1995|pages=[https://archive.org/details/amyvanderbiltcom00tuck/page/364 364]–365|isbn=0-385-41342-4}}</ref>
===Canada=== In Canada a stag and doe party, also called a "Jack and Jill", "buck and doe" or "hag" (''hen'' + ''stag'') party, is a fundraising party that includes both men and women. These parties are held by couples wishing to distance themselves from the licentiousness associated with many post-1980s bachelorette parties and are becoming increasingly popular, especially as a means to financially support a wedding.
==References== {{Reflist|30em}}
{{Commons category|Bachelorette party}} {{Wiktionary}} {{Wikivoyage|Bachelor(ette) parties}} *{{wiktionary-inline|bachelorette party}} *[http://ssa.nls.uk/film.cfm?fid=2405 HALFWAY TO PARADISE: HEN PARTY (1989)] (archive film about a hen night in Glasgow - from the National Library of Scotland: SCOTTISH SCREEN ARCHIVE)
{{wedding}} {{Authority control}}
Category:Parties Category:Pre-wedding Category:Rites of passage Category:Women in society Category:Women-only spaces Category:Women's culture