Serenity Prayer

{{Short description|Prayer authored by American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr}} {{multiple issues | {{Expert needed|history|reason=the article presents internally discrepant conclusions |date=April 2026}} {{More citations needed|date=May 2023}} }}

[[File:UNKNOWN MEDALLION - POSSIBLY AADAC or NA b - Flickr - woody1778a.jpg|thumb|upright=1.0|A version of the ''Serenity prayer'' appearing on an Alcoholics Anonymous medallion (date unknown).]] The '''Serenity Prayer''' is a prayer or invocation for the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what can be, and the wisdom to understand the difference.

The prayer has achieved very wide distribution, spreading through the YWCA and other groups in the 1930s, and in Alcoholics Anonymous and related organizational materials since at least 1941. Since at least the early 1960s, commercial enterprises such as Hallmark Cards have used the prayer in their greeting cards and other media.

==History== A version of the prayer was originally composed by Protestant theologian Reinhold Niebuhr in the early 1930s. Initially popularized by one of his colleagues, the prayer began to spread widely without reference to the original author.

Around 1932, Niebuhr is reported to have first used the prayer as the last part of a longer prayer.<ref name=":0">{{cite web |title=ORIGIN OF THE SERENITY PRAYER: A HISTORICAL PAPER |url=https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/literature/assets/smf-129_en.pdf |work=Service Material from the General Service Office}}</ref> In an October 31, 1932 diary entry by American YWCA official Winnifred Wygal, she quotes her colleague Niebuhr:<blockquote>The victorious man in the day of crisis is the man who has the serenity to accept what he cannot help and the courage to change what must be altered.<ref name=":1">{{Cite web |last=Shapiro |first=Fred |title=COMMENTARY: How I discovered I was wrong about the origin of the Serenity Prayer |url=https://uscatholic.org/news_item/commentary-how-i-discovered-i-was-wrong-about-the-origin-of-the-serenity-prayer/ |access-date=2023-09-10 |website=U.S. Catholic |language=en-US}}</ref></blockquote>Drawing on this, Wygal published a prayer in the March 1933 edition of YWCA periodical ''The Woman's Press'',<ref>{{Cite book |last1=Wyatt |first1=Christopher Scott |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=EKwWEAAAQBAJ |title=Type Matters: The Rhetoricity of Letterforms |last2=DeVoss |first2=Dànielle Nicole |date=2017-09-01 |publisher=Parlor Press LLC |isbn=978-1-60235-978-9 |language=en}}</ref> which was soon shared with a broader audience on the front page of the ''Santa Cruz Sentinel'' of March 15, 1933.<ref name=":2">{{Cite web |title=Santa Cruz Sentinel 15 Mar 1933, page Page 1 |url=https://www.newspapers.com/image/52381350/ |access-date=2023-09-10 |via=Newspapers.com |language=en}}</ref><ref name=":1" />

It read:<blockquote>Oh, God, give us courage to change what must be altered, serenity to accept what can not be helped, and insight to know the one from the other.<ref name=":2" /></blockquote>The prayer was also quoted in the ''Richmond Times-Dispatch'' later that month.<ref>{{Cite web |title=Richmond Times-Dispatch 21 Mar 1933, page 2 |url=https://www.newspapers.com/image/827825716/ |access-date=2023-09-10 |via=Newspapers.com |language=en}}</ref> Substantial quotes from the prayer were also printed in two Atlanta newspapers that month.<ref>{{Cite web |title=The Atlanta Constitution 09 Mar 1933, page 6 |url=https://www.newspapers.com/image/384701390 |access-date=2023-09-10 |via=Newspapers.com |language=en}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web |title=The Atlanta Journal 12 Mar 1933, page 19 |url=https://www.newspapers.com/image/973866438/ |access-date=2023-09-10 |via=Newspapers.com |language=en}}</ref>

The prayer appeared a few additional times in American and Canadian newspapers in the 1930s, associated with the YWCA or with individual women. In 1937, the prayer was published in a Christian student newsletter, attributing it to Niebuhr.<ref name="FRS 2010">{{cite journal |last=Shapiro |first=Fred R. |date=January–February 2010 |title=You Can Quote Them |url=http://www.yalealumnimagazine.com/articles/2709 |journal=Yale Alumni Magazine}}</ref>

Wygal published the prayer again in her 1940 book ''We Plan Our Own Worship Services'', and attributed it to Niebuhr.<ref name=":3" /> It took this form:<blockquote>O God, give us the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, the courage to change what can be changed, and the wisdom to know the one from the other.<ref name=":3">{{Cite book |last=Wygal |first=Winnifred |url=http://archive.org/details/MN42001ucmf_1 |title=We plan our own worship services [microform] ; business girls practice the act and the art of group worship |date=c. 1940 |location=New York, N.Y. |publisher=The Womans Press |via=Internet Archive}}</ref></blockquote>The prayer became published in English language newspapers much more from 1940, but never attributed to Wygal or Niebuhr. In June 1941, the prayer was published in an obituary in the ''New York Herald Tribune'', and from here became known by the first Alcoholics Anonymous group. The organisation embraced it and spread it widely.<ref name=":0" /> It was initially known within the group as "the AA prayer", but by the late 1940s, it was known as "the serenity prayer".<ref name=":0" /><ref name="Grapevine 1950">{{cite magazine |date=January 1950 |title=The Serenity Prayer... it's[''sic''] origin is traced... |url=https://www.aagrapevine.org/magazine/1950/jan/serenity-prayer |magazine=Grapevine |url-access=subscription}}</ref>

Niebuhr presented it in a 1943 sermon at Heath Evangelical Union Church in Heath, Massachusetts.<ref name="Bartletts">{{cite encyclopedia |year=2002 |title=Reinhold Niebuhr (1892–1971) |editor-last=Kaplan |editor-first=Justin |edition=17th |page=735 |encyclopedia=Bartlett's Familiar Quotations}}</ref><ref name=":1" /> Niebuhr's wife and daughter would later say this was when they understood the prayer was first written and used.<ref>{{Cite web |title=Who wrote the Serenity Prayer? |url=https://yalealumnimagazine.org/articles/2143-who-wrote-the-serenity-prayer |access-date=2023-09-10 |website=yalealumnimagazine.org |language=en}}</ref> It then also appeared in a sermon of Niebuhr's in the 1944 ''A'' ''Book of Prayers and Services for the Armed Forces,<ref name=":1" />'' and was printed on cards for American soldiers in WWII.<ref name="Zaleski">{{cite book |last1=Zaleski |first1=Philip |url=https://archive.org/details/prayerhistory00zale/page/127 |title=Prayer: A History |last2=Zaleski |first2=Carol |publisher=Houghton Mifflin |year=2005 |isbn=9780618152889 |page=[https://archive.org/details/prayerhistory00zale/page/127 127] |url-access=registration}}</ref><ref name="ERN">{{cite book |last=Niebuhr |first=Reinhold |title=The Essential Reinhold Niebuhr: Selected Essays and Addresses |date=September 10, 1987 |publisher=Yale University Press |editor-last=Brown |editor-first=Robert McAfee |edition=New |page=251}}</ref> From January 1944, Niebuhr began being cited as the source of the prayer in newspaper articles.

Niebuhr also published it in a magazine column in 1951.<ref name=":1" /><ref name="Shapiro">{{cite news |last=Shapiro |first=Fred R. |date=July–August 2008 |title=Who Wrote the Serenity Prayer? |work=Yale Alumni Magazine |url=http://www.yalealumnimagazine.com/articles/2143 |access-date=May 12, 2023}}</ref> By this stage, the prayer had become commonly quoted as: <blockquote>God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.<ref name="Shapiro 2014">{{cite web|first=Fred R.|last=Shapiro|date=15 May 2014 |title=Commentary: How I discovered I was wrong about the origin of the Serenity Prayer |work=USCatholic.org |via=Religion News Service |url=https://uscatholic.org/news_item/commentary-how-i-discovered-i-was-wrong-about-the-origin-of-the-serenity-prayer/ |access-date=12 May 2023 }}</ref></blockquote> In 1962, Hallmark began using the prayer in its graduation cards, crediting Niebuhr,<ref name="Shapiro" /> and in the 1970s they also produced a wall plaque.{{Citation needed|date=May 2023}} Posters and household ornaments were produced by others without attribution.{{fact|date=May 2023}}

Rhetorician William FitzGerald believes Wygal wrote the prayer, arguing that sexism is the reason for the misattribution.<ref name="Fitzgerald">{{cite web |author=William Trollinger |date=October 9, 2017 |title=Religion at the Feminisms and Rhetorics Conference |url=https://rightingamerica.net/religion-at-the-feminisms-and-rhetorics-conference/ |website=Righting America}}, reviewing a conference session by William FitzGerald (Rutgers University-Camden) titled "Erasure and Authority: Recovering a Feminist History of the Serenity Prayer".{{primary source inline|date=May 2023}}</ref> Quotation researcher Fred R. Shapiro has alternated in his conclusions over time.<ref name="Shapiro 2014" /> In his 2021 revision of the ''Yale Book of Quotations'' and in his discussion of it, he says Wygal "was the author of the earliest known occurrence".<ref name="New Yale Book of Q">{{cite book |last=Shapiro |first=Fred R. |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=EyA3EAAAQBAJ |title=The New Yale Book of Quotations |publisher=Yale University Press |year=2021 |isbn=9780300205978 |location=New Haven, Conn. |page=xviii-xix, 907f |access-date=May 12, 2023}}{{Verify source|date=May 2023}}</ref><ref name="Shapiro 2021 YouTube">{{cite AV media |url=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDallANsXNo |title=Yale Campus (channel): The New Yale Book of Quotations |date=August 23, 2021 |time=3:14-4:47 |access-date=May 12, 2023 |people=Shapiro, Fred R.}}</ref>

==Versions== The prayer has appeared in many versions. Reinhold Niebuhr's versions of the prayer were always printed as a single prose sentence; printings that set out the prayer as three lines of verse modify the author's original version.{{fact|date=May 2023}} The best-known form is a late version,{{according to whom|date=May 2023}} as it includes a reference to grace not found before 1951:{{fact|date=May 2023}}

<blockquote><poem> God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.{{Quote without source|date=May 2023}} </poem></blockquote>

The following clauses were added in the AA ''Origin of the Serenity Prayer: A Historic Paper''<ref>{{cite web |first=Nell |last=Wing |date=1981 |url=https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/literature/assets/smf-129_en.pdf |title=Origin of the Serenity Prayer: A Historic Paper Service Material F-129 Rev 7/30/09 |access-date=December 5, 2022 }}</ref> but were not part of the tripartite original. Niebuhr's daughter in her book ''The Serenity Prayer: Faith and Politics in Time of Peace and War'' said: "... their message and their tone are not in any way Niebuhrian."<ref name="Sifton">{{cite book |last=Sifton |first=Elisabeth |title=The Serenity Prayer: Faith and Politics in Times of Peace and War |date=2003 |publisher=W. W. Norton & Company |isbn=978-0393057461}}</ref>{{rp|293}}

<blockquote><poem> Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as He did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that He will make all things right, If I surrender to His will, That I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Amen. </poem></blockquote>

A version, apparently quoted from memory and asking for the author of the quotation, appeared in the "Queries and Answers" column in ''The New York Times Book Review'' in July 1950,<ref>{{cite news|author= | date=July 2, 1950 | title=Queries and Answers... | newspaper=The New York Times Book Review | volume= | issue= | page=23 | url= | access-date= | quote= }}{{Full citation needed|date=May 2023}}</ref>{{full|date=May 2023}} and received a reply in the same column in August 1950, attributing the prayer to Niebuhr, and quoting it as follows: <blockquote><poem>O God and Heavenly Father, Grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the one from the other, through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.<ref>{{cite news|author= | date= August 13, 1950 | title=Queries and Answers... | newspaper=The New York Times Book Review | volume= | issue= | page=19 | url= | access-date= | quote= }}{{full|date=May 2023}}</ref>{{full|date=May 2023}}</poem></blockquote>

Today, twelve-step recovery programs generally use a slightly different version, the text of which has been adopted in official publications from groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous:<ref>{{Cite web |title=Serenity Prayer Parchment |url=https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/product/serenity-prayer-parchment/ |website=Alcoholics Anonymous UK}}</ref> <blockquote><poem>God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.<ref>{{cite book|last1=Littleton|first1=Jeanett Gardner|last2=Bell|first2=James Stuart|title=Living the Serenity Prayer: True Stories of Acceptance, Courage, and Wisdom|date=2008|publisher=Adams Media|location=Avon, Massachusetts|isbn=978-1-59869-116-0|page=14}}</ref></poem></blockquote>

===Precursors=== {{original research|section|date=May 2023}}  1st-century Greek stoic philosopher Epictetus wrote:<blockquote><poem>Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens. Some things are up to us [eph' hêmin] and some things are not up to us. Our opinions are up to us, and our impulses, desires, aversions—in short, whatever is our own doing. Our bodies are not up to us, nor are our possessions, our reputations, or our public offices, or, that is, whatever is not our own doing."<ref>Epictetus (1983), Handbook. Trans. Nicholas White. Indianapolis: Hackett. Section 1.1</ref>{{primary source inline|date=May 2023}}</poem></blockquote>

The 8th-century Indian Buddhist scholar Shantideva of the ancient Nalanda Mahavihara suggested: <blockquote><poem>If there's a remedy when trouble strikes, What reason is there for dejection? And if there is no help for it, What use is there in being glum?<ref>Shantideva, Padmakara Translation Group, "The Way of the Bodhisattva", p. 130, Ch. 6, verse 10, Shambhala Publications, (October 14, 2008)</ref>{{primary source inline|date=May 2023}}</poem></blockquote>

The 11th-century Jewish philosopher Solomon ibn Gabirol wrote: <blockquote>And they said: At the head of all understanding – is distinguishing between what is and what cannot be, and the consoling of what is not in our power to change.<ref>'Choice of Pearls' (Chapter 17 'Consciousness' 2nd verse){{full|date=May 2023}}</ref>{{full|date=May 2023}}{{primary source inline|date=May 2023}}</blockquote>

A Mother Goose rhyme (dating back to at least 1827<ref>{{Cite book |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=3TwJAAAAIAAJ&pg=PA72 |title=Christian Gleaner and Domestic Magazine |date=1827 |publisher=B. J. Holdsworth. |language=en}}</ref>) has been juxtaposed with Niebuhr's prayer by philosopher W. W. Bartley: <blockquote><poem>For every ailment under the sun There is a remedy, or there is none; If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it.<ref>{{cite book |author-link=William Warren Bartley |first=W. W. |last=Bartley |title=The Retreat to Commitment |page=35 |publisher=Open Court Publishing Company |date=April 1990 |edition=New; first 1962}}</ref></poem></blockquote>

In 1801, German philosopher Friedrich Schiller wrote:<blockquote><poem>Blessed is he, who has learned to bear what he cannot change, and to give up with dignity, what he cannot save."<ref>{{cite book |quote=Wohl dem Menschen, wenn er gelernt hat, zu ertragen, was er nicht ändern kann, und preiszugeben mit Würde, was er nicht retten kann. |first=Friedrich |last=Schiller |title=Über das Erhabene |language=de}}</ref>{{primary source inline|date=May 2023}}</poem></blockquote>

===Spurious attributions=== The prayer has been variously attributed (without evidence) to Thomas Aquinas, Cicero, Augustine, Boethius, Marcus Aurelius,<ref>{{cite book |first1=Philip |last1=Zaleski |first2=Carol |last2=Zaleski |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=SDHsE_Efy0EC |title=Prayer: A History |pages=126–127 |publisher=Houghton Mifflin Harcourt |year=2006|isbn=0618773606 }}</ref> and Francis of Assisi,<ref>{{cite web |url=http://www.almapress.unibo.it/dubcek/intro/intro.htm |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20040913100104/http://www.almapress.unibo.it/dubcek/intro/intro.htm |url-status=dead |archive-date=2004-09-13 |title=Alexander Dubcek – Introduzione |website=Almapress.unibo.it |language=it |access-date=2013-03-14 }}</ref>{{better source needed |date=January 2016}} among others.{{fact|date=May 2023}}

Theodor Wilhelm, a professor of education at the University of Kiel, published a German version of the prayer under the pseudonym "Friedrich Oetinger" in 1951.<ref>{{cite book|first=Friedrich |last=Oetinger |title=Wendepunkt der poltitischen Erziehung |year=1951 |url=http://www.substanceabusecounselor.us/addiction/the-full-serenity-prayer-its-meaning/ |chapter=The Full Serenity Prayer & Its Meaning |via=SubstanceAbuseCounselor.us}}</ref> Wilhelm's version of the prayer became popular in West Germany, where it was widely but falsely attributed to the 18th-century philosopher Friedrich Christoph Oetinger. Elisabeth Sifton described Wilhelm's account of the history of the prayer as "dishonest".<ref name="Sifton" />{{rp|343}}

==Use by twelve-step recovery programs== The prayer became more widely known after being brought to the attention of Alcoholics Anonymous in 1941 by an early member,<ref>"Stalking the Wild Serenity Prayer", Appendix B in: {{cite book |last=Wing |first=Nell |title=Grateful to Have Been There: My 42 Years with Bill and Lois, and the Evolution of Alcoholics Anonymous |year=1998 |page=[https://archive.org/details/isbn_9781568380643/page/167 167-187] |publisher=Hazelden |isbn=1-56838-064-X |url=https://archive.org/details/isbn_9781568380643/ }}</ref> who came upon it in a caption in a "routine ''New York Herald Tribune'' obituary".<ref name="Box 459 1992">{{Cite journal|date=August–September 1992|title=The Elusive Origins of the Serenity Prayer|journal=Box 459|volume=38|issue=4}}</ref> The original clipping appeared in the May 28, 1941, public notices section: "Mother--God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, courage to change things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Goodby."<ref>{{cite web |url=https://www.district48aa.org/archives.html |title=Archives - Serenity Clipping |publisher=District 48 Greater Williamsport Area Alcoholics Anonymous |access-date=October 25, 2022}}</ref>

AA's co-founder Bill W. and the staff liked the prayer and had it printed in modified form and handed around. It has been part of Alcoholics Anonymous ever since, and has also been used in other twelve-step programs. "Never had we seen so much A.A. in so few words," noted Bill W.<ref>{{cite book |author=Bill W. |title=Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age : A Brief History of A. A. |page=[https://archive.org/details/alcoholicsanohist00newy/page/196/mode/2up 196] |publisher=Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc |date=June 1957 |isbn=9780916856021 }}</ref> The January 1950 edition of the ''Grapevine'' (''The International Journal of Alcoholics Anonymous'') identifies Niebuhr as the author,<ref name="Grapevine 1950" /> as does the AA web site.<ref name="AAHistory">{{cite web |title=The Origin of our Serenity Prayer |url=http://www.aahistory.com/prayer.html |access-date=July 14, 2008 |work=AAHistory.com}}</ref>

==See also== * Agency (philosophy) * Self-efficacy

==References== {{Reflist|30em}}

==External links==

{{Wikiquote}} {{Portal|Poetry|Christianity|Religion}} * [https://yalebooks.yale.edu/book/9780300040012/essential-reinhold-niebuhr ''The Essential Reinhold Niebuhr: Selected Essays and Addresses''], editor: Robert McAfee Brown * "Transcending and Transforming the World", in {{cite book |last=Niebuhr |first=Reinhold |title=Does Civilization Need Religion? A Study in the Social Resources and Limitations of Religion in Modern Life |year=1927|url=https://archive.org/details/MN40125ucmf_6}}, especially pages 179–81. * Elisabeth Sifton, ''[https://wwnorton.com/books/The-Serenity-Prayer The Serenity Prayer: Faith and Politics in Times of Peace and War]'', New York, Norton, 2003 . {{ISBN|978-0393057461}} Elizabeth Sifton was Reinhold Niebuhr's daughter. **[https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4284976 The Serenity Prayer: Faith in Times of Peace and War], National Public Radio - Fresh Air interview with Elisabeth Sifton (20 mins) January 14, 2005 * [https://web.archive.org/web/20060503064333/http://www.wlb-stuttgart.de/referate/theologie/oetgeb00.html Full documentation (in German) of false claims of authorship] * [http://www.aahistory.com/prayer.html The origin of our Serenity Prayer], at Alcoholics Anonymous * Nell Wing (1981). [https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/literature/assets/smf-129_en.pdf Origin of the Serenity Prayer: A Historic Paper] 12 pp from AA General Service Office [https://www.aa.org/origin-serenity-prayer-historical-paper Service Material F-129] Rev 7/30/09 Accessed 10/20/22. (Secretary to Bill W., First AA Archivist, 1954-1983) *[https://quoteinvestigator.com/2019/12/24/serenity/ Serenity Prayer] - Quote Investigator December 24, 2019

Category:Alcoholics Anonymous Category:Prayer Category:Twelve-step programs Category:Works by Reinhold Niebuhr Category:Courage Category:Wisdom Category:1930s quotations