Platonic love

{{short description|Non-sexual love}} {{Use dmy dates|date=October 2020}} {{Close relationships|emotions}} {{Love sidebar|types}}

'''Platonic love''' is a type of [[love]] which is [[Friendship|friendly]] or [[Affection|affectionate]],<ref>{{Cite book|title=Collins English Dictionary: All the Words You Need, Every Day|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=zfKgugEACAAJ|publisher=HarperCollins Publishers Limited|date=2019|isbn=978-0-00-830943-5|language=en|first=Collins|last=Dictionaries|pages=605|quote='''platonic''' ''adj'' friendly or affectionate but without physical desire: ''platonic love''}}</ref> but [[sexual desire]] is nonexistent, suppressed or [[Sublimation (psychology)|sublimated]].<ref name="dictionary">{{Cite Merriam-Webster|platonic love}}</ref>

The term is derived from the name of the [[Greek philosopher]] [[Plato]], although the modern usage of the term does not exactly refer to his idea.<ref name="slate-plato" /> Plato's conception of love concerned rising through levels of closeness to wisdom and true beauty, from carnal attraction to individual bodies to attraction to souls, and eventually, union with the truth.

In the 15th century, a Latin term for Plato's idea of love, ''amor platonicus,'' was coined by [[Marsilio Ficino]]; "platonic love" then entered the English language in the 1630s, when [[Neoplatonism]] was a fad among royalty. Later, by the time of the 18th century, the term came to be used more in the modern sense to mean a sexless relationship.<ref name="slate-plato">{{Cite news|title=What’s Plato Got To Do With It?|url=https://slate.com/human-interest/2010/09/the-origins-of-the-term-platonic-friendship.html|work=Slate|date=2010-09-27|access-date=2026-01-30|issn=1091-2339|language=en-US|first=Juliet|last=Lapidos|archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20251117013135/https://slate.com/human-interest/2010/09/the-origins-of-the-term-platonic-friendship.html|archive-date=2025-11-17|url-status=live|author-link=Juliet Lapidos}}</ref>

Platonic love is not always mutually exclusive with [[romance]] or [[Passion (emotion)|passion]], however. For example, a [[romantic friendship]] involves passionate feelings without sexual desire.<ref name="diamond-2003">{{cite journal |last1=Diamond |first1=Lisa M. |author-link=Lisa M. Diamond |date=2003 |title=What does sexual orientation orient? A biobehavioral model distinguishing romantic love and sexual desire. |journal=Psychological Review |volume=110 |issue=1 |pages=173–192 |doi=10.1037/0033-295X.110.1.173 |pmid=12529061}}</ref><ref name="diamond-2004">{{cite journal |last1=Diamond |first1=Lisa M. |author-link=Lisa M. Diamond |date=June 2004 |title=Emerging Perspectives on Distinctions Between Romantic Love and Sexual Desire |journal=Current Directions in Psychological Science |volume=13 |issue=3 |pages=116–119 |doi=10.1111/j.0963-7214.2004.00287.x |s2cid=35022167}}</ref>

Plato's ideal where the lover achieves transcendence through nonsexual adoration has also been interpreted as a positive conception of [[passionate love]]—usually only between men in [[ancient Greece]]. The ancient Greeks thought of love and [[marriage]] as separate; they did have a concept of passionate, romantic love, but it was typically viewed as a madness and only depicted in literature.<ref name="brehm-greece-rome">{{harvnb|Brehm|1985|p=96}}</ref>

== Classical philosophical interpretation ==

Platonic love is examined in Plato's dialogue, the ''[[Symposium (Plato)|Symposium]]'', which has as its topic the subject of love, or more generally the subject of [[eros (concept)|Eros]]. It explains the possibilities of how the feeling of love began and how it has evolved, both sexually and non-sexually, and defines genuine platonic love as inspiring a person's mind and soul and directing their attention towards spiritual matters. Of particular importance is the speech of [[Socrates]], who attributes to the prophet [[Diotima of Mantinea|Diotima]] an idea of platonic love as a means of ascent to contemplation of the divine, an ascent known as the "Ladder of Love". For Diotima and Plato generally, the most correct use of love of human beings is to direct one's mind to love of [[divinity]]. Socrates defines love based on separate classifications of pregnancy (to bear offspring); pregnancy of the body, pregnancy of the soul, and direct connection to existence. Pregnancy of the body results in human children. Pregnancy of the soul, the next step in the process, produces "[[virtue]]"—which is the soul (truth) translating itself into material form.<ref name="Rojcewicz-1997">Rojcewicz, R. (1997). Platonic love: dasein's urge toward being. ''Research in Phenomenology'', ''27''(1), 103.</ref> {{quote|"... virtue for the Greeks means self-sameness ... in Plato's terms, Being or idea."(106)<ref name="Rojcewicz-1997"/>}}

===Eros=== Pausanias, in Plato's ''Symposium'' (181b–182a), defines two types of the love known as "Eros": vulgar Eros, or earthly love, and divine Eros, or [[divine love]]. Pausanias defines vulgar Eros as material attraction towards a person's beauty for the purposes of physical pleasure and reproduction, and divine Eros as starting from physical attraction but transcending gradually to love for supreme beauty, placed on a similar level to the divine. This concept of divine Eros was later transformed into the term "platonic love".

Vulgar Eros and divine Eros were both considered to be connected, and part of the same continuous process of pursuing perfection of one's being,<ref name="Benardete-1986"/> with the purpose of mending one's human nature and eventually reaching a point of unity where there is no longer an aspiration or need to change.<ref name="Miller-2013"/>

{{quote|"Eros is ... a moment of transcendence ... in so far as the other can never be possessed without being annihilated in its status as the other, at which point both desire and transcendence would cease ... (84)<ref name="Miller-2013">Miller, P. A. (2013). Duras and platonic love: The erotics of substitution. ''Comparatist'', ''37''83-104.</ref>}}

====Eros as a god==== In the ''Symposium'', Eros is discussed as a Greek god—more specifically, the king of the gods, with each guest of the party giving a eulogy in praise of Eros.<ref name="Benardete-1986">Benardete, S. (1986). ''Plato's Symposium.'' Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press. {{ISBN|0-226-04275-8}}.</ref>

==== Virtue ==== Virtue, according to Greek [[philosophy]], is the concept of how closely reality and material form equates good, positive, or benevolent. This can be seen as a form of [[linguistic relativity]].

Some modern authors' perception of the terms "virtue" and "good" as they are translated into English from the ''Symposium'' are a good indicator of this misunderstanding. In the following quote, the author simplifies the idea of virtue as simply what is "good".{{quote|"... what is good is beautiful, and what is beautiful is good ..."<ref name="Herrmann-2013">Herrmann, F. (2013). Dynamics of vision in Plato's thought. ''Helios'', ''40''(1/2), 281-307.</ref>}}

=== Ladder of Love === The Ladder of Love is a metaphor that relates each step toward Being as consecutive rungs of a ladder. Each step closer to the truth further distances love from beauty of the body toward love that is more focused on wisdom and the essence of beauty.<ref name="Rojcewicz-1997" />

The ladder starts with carnal attraction of body for body, progressing to a love for body and soul. Eventually, in time, with consequent steps up the ladder, the idea of beauty is eventually no longer connected with a body, but entirely united with Being itself.<ref name="Benardete-1986" />{{quote|"[...] decent human beings must be gratified, as well as those that are not as yet decent, so that they might become more decent; and the love of the decent must be preserved."<ref name="Benardete-1986" /> (187d, 17) - Eryximachus' "completion" of Pausanias' speech on Eros}}

==== Tragedy and comedy ==== Plato's ''Symposium'' defines two extremes in the process of platonic love; the entirely carnal and the entirely ethereal. These two extremes of love are seen by the Greeks in terms of tragedy and comedy. According to Diotima in her discussion with Socrates, for anyone to achieve the final rung in the Ladder of Love, they would essentially transcend the body and rise to immortality—gaining direct access to Being. Such a form of love is impossible for a mortal to achieve.<ref name="Rojcewicz-1997" />

What Plato describes as "pregnancy of the body" is entirely carnal and seeks pleasure and beauty in bodily form only. This is the type of love, that, according to Socrates, is practiced by animals.<ref name="Benardete-1986" />{{quote|"Now, if both these portraits of love, the tragic and the comic, are exaggerations, then we could say that the genuine portrayal of Platonic love is the one that lies between them. The love described as the one practiced by those who are pregnant according to the soul, who partake of both the realm of beings and the realm of Being, who grasp Being indirectly, through the mediation of beings, would be a love that Socrates could practice."<ref name="Rojcewicz-1997" />}}

===== Tragedy ===== Diotima considers the carnal limitation of human beings to the pregnancy of the body to be a form of tragedy, as it separates someone from the pursuit of truth. One would be forever limited to beauty of the body, never being able to access the true essence of beauty.<ref name="Rojcewicz-1997" />

===== Comedy ===== Diotima considers the idea of a mortal having direct access to Being to be a comic situation simply because of the impossibility of it. The offspring of true virtue would essentially lead to a mortal achieving immortality.<ref name="Herrmann-2013" />

==Historical views of platonic love== {{See also|Romance#Plato}}

In the Middle Ages, new interest in the works of Plato, his philosophy and his view of love became more popular, spurred on by [[Georgios Gemistos Plethon]] during the Councils of Ferrara and Firenze in 1438–1439. Later in 1469, [[Marsilio Ficino]] put forward a theory of neo-platonic love, in which he defined love as a personal ability of an individual, which guides their soul towards cosmic processes, lofty spiritual goals and heavenly ideas.<ref>''De Amore'', Les Belles Lettres, 2012</ref> The first use of the modern sense of platonic love is considered to be by Ficino in one of his letters.

Though Plato's discussions of love originally centered on relationships which were sexual between members of the same sex, scholar Todd Reeser studies how the meaning of platonic love in Plato's original sense underwent a transformation during the [[Renaissance]], leading to the contemporary sense of nonsexual [[Heterosexuality|heterosexual]] love.<ref>{{cite book|last1=Reeser|first1=T.|title=Setting Plato Straight: Translating Platonic Sexuality in the Renaissance|date=2015|location=Chicago}}</ref>

The English term "platonic" dates back to [[William Davenant]]'s ''[[The Platonick Lovers]]'', performed in 1635, a critique of the philosophy of platonic love which was popular at [[Charles I of England|Charles I]]'s court. The play was derived from the concept in Plato's ''Symposium'' of a person's love for the idea of good, which he considered to lie at the root of all virtue and truth. For a brief period, platonic love was a fashionable subject at the English royal court, especially in the circle around Queen [[Henrietta Maria of France|Henrietta Maria]], the wife of King Charles I. Platonic love was the theme of some of the courtly [[masque]]s performed in the [[Caroline era]], though the fashion for this soon waned under pressures of social and political change.

== Modern interpretations ==

=== Definition === "Platonic love in its modern popular sense is an affectionate relationship into which the sexual element does not enter, especially in cases where one might easily assume otherwise."<ref>{{cite web |title=Platonic love |url=https://www.sciencedaily.com/terms/platonic_love.htm |website=ScienceDaily |access-date=5 October 2022 |language=en}}</ref> "Platonic lovers function to underscore a supportive role where the friend sees [their] duty as the provision of advice, encouragement, and comfort to the other person ... and do not entail exclusivity."<ref>{{Cite journal|last=Messman|first=SJ|date=2000|title=Motives to Remain Platonic, Equity, and the Use of Maintenance Strategies in Opposite-Sex Friendships|journal=Journal of Social and Personal Relationships|volume=17|pages=67–94|doi=10.1177/0265407500171004|s2cid=145745343}}</ref>

=== Queerplatonic love === {{main|Queerplatonic relationship}}

Some in the [[aromanticism|aromantic]] and [[asexuality|asexual]] communities, within the broader [[LGBT community]], have coined the term "queerplatonic" to refer to formal [[intimate relationship]]s between [[significant other]]s that do not involve romance.<ref name="William & Mary">{{cite web |title=Queerplatonic |url=https://neologisms.blogs.wm.edu/2016/03/14/queerplatonic/ |website=21st-Century Interdisciplinary Dictionary: A William & Mary Lexicon of English Neologisms, Buzzwords, Keywords and Jargon |access-date=25 February 2022}}</ref><ref name=Counterpoint>{{cite journal |title=The 'A' in LGBT |journal=Counterpoint |date=September 2013 |volume=35 |issue=1 |page=8}}</ref><ref name=Chasin>{{cite journal |last1=Chasin |first1=C. J. DeLuzio |title=Making Sense in and of the Asexual Community: Navigating Relationships and Identities in a Context of Resistance |journal=Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology |date=2015 |volume=25 |issue=2 |pages=167–180|doi=10.1002/casp.2203 }}</ref> Queerplatonic feelings are often described, like romance, as involving a deeper and more profound emotional connection than friendship.

[[Julie Sondra Decker]] writes that queerplatonic love often "looks indistinguishable from romance when outside the equation", but should not be "assigned a romantic status if participants say it is not romantic". She also notes that it can also be misread by observers as close friendship in circumstances where overtly romantic gestures are socially expected. For Decker, the essence of queerplatonic attraction is its ambiguous position in relation to normative categories: she writes that QPR "is a platonic relationship, but it is '[[queering|queered]]' in some way—not friends, not romantic partners, but something else".<ref>{{cite book |last1=Decker |first1=Julie Sondra |title=The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality |date=September 2014 |page=25}}</ref>

=== Evolutionary theory ===  {{Excerpt|Biology of romantic love|Co-option of mother-infant bonding|paragraphs=0|only=paragraph}} {{Excerpt|Biology of romantic love|Platonic love|hat=no}}

== See also == [[File:Plato i sin akademi, av Carl Johan Wahlbom (ur Svenska Familj-Journalen).png|thumb|right|[[Plato]] and his students]] {{div-col}} * [[Casual dating]] * [[Childhood sweetheart]] * [[Emotional affair]] * [[Fraternization]] * [[Greek love]] * [[Homosociality]] * [[Heterosociality]] * [[Infatuation]] * [[Interpersonal attraction]] * [[Interpersonal communication]] * [[Puppy love]] * [[Queerplatonic relationship]] * [[Relationship anarchy]] * [[Romantic friendship]] * [[Soulmate]] * [[Work spouse]] {{div-col-end}}

== References == {{Reflist}}

== Bibliography == * {{cite journal|last=Dall'Orto|first=Giovanni|title='Socratic Love' as a Disguise for Same-Sex Love in the Italian Renaissance|journal=[[Journal of Homosexuality]] |date=January 1989|volume=16|issue=1–2|pages=33–66|doi=10.1300/J082v16n01_03|pmid=3069924}} * {{cite book|last=Gerard|first=Kent|title=The Pursuit of Sodomy: Male Homosexuality in Renaissance and Enlightenment Europe|year=1989|publisher=Harrington Park Press|location=New York|isbn=978-0-918393-49-4|author2=Hekma, Gert|author2-link=Gert Hekma}} * K. Sharpe, ''Criticism and Compliment.'' Cambridge, 1987, ch. 2. * T. Reeser, ''Setting Plato Straight: Translating Platonic Sexuality in the Renaissance.'' Chicago, 2015. * Burton, N., MD (25 June 2016). [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201606/these-are-the-7-types-love These Are the 7 Types of Love.] ''Psychology Today.'' Retrieved 3 May 2018. * Messman, S. J., Hause, D. J., & Hause, K. S. (2000). "Motives to Remain Platonic, Equity, and the Use of Maintenance Strategies in Opposite-Sex Friendships." ''Journal of Social and Personal Relationships,'' '''17''' (1), 67–94. {{doi|10.1177/0265407500171004}} * Mish, F. C. (Ed.). (1993). ''Merriam-Webster's collegiate dictionary: Tenth Edition.'' Springfield, MA: Merriam-Webster, Inc. {{ISBN|08-7779-709-9}}. * Rojcewicz, R. (1997). "Platonic love: dasein's urge toward being." ''Research in Phenomenology,'' '''27''' (1), 103. * Miller, P. A. (2013). "Duras and platonic love: The erotics of substitution." ''Comparatist'', '''37''' 83–104. * Benardete, S. (1986). ''Plato's Symposium.'' Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press. {{ISBN|0-226-04275-8}}. * Herrmann, F. (2013). "Dynamics of vision in Plato's thought." ''Helios'', '''40''' (1/2), 281–307. * {{Cite book |last=Beam |first=Joe |author-link=Joe Beam |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=0jBi87OOUosC |title=The Art of Falling in Love |date=2013 |publisher=Simon and Schuster |isbn=978-1-4516-7265-7 |language=en}} * {{Cite book |last=Brehm |first=Sharon S. |author-link=Sharon Brehm |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=-SdHAAAAMAAJ |title=Intimate Relationships |date=1985 |publisher=Random House |isbn=978-0-394-33588-9 |language=en}} [https://archive.org/details/intimaterelation0000breh Readable on Internet Archive]. * {{Cite book |last=Tennov |first=Dorothy |author-link=Dorothy Tennov |title=Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love |date=1999 |publisher=Scarborough House |isbn=978-0-8128-6286-7 |location=Lanham, MD |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=506FGoFBjmUC}}

==External links== {{EB1911 Poster|Platonic Love}} * [https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/plato-friendship/ Plato on Friendship and Eros] – [[Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy]]

{{DEFAULTSORT:Platonic Love}} [[Category:Friendship]] [[Category:Love]] [[Category:Non-sexuality]]