{{Short description|1983 Broadway play which was a notorious flop}} {{Use mdy dates|date=December 2018}} {{Infobox play |name = Moose Murders |image = Moose murders.jpg |caption = |writer = Arthur Bicknell |characters = |setting = |premiere = {{Start date|1983|02|22}} |place = United States |orig_lang = English |genre = Mystery farce }}
'''''Moose Murders''''' is a play by Arthur Bicknell,<!-- Don't wikilink this, as it is a self-reference back to this page --> self-described as a mystery farce.<ref>{{cite book|last=Bicknell|first=Arthur|title=Moose Murders: A Mystery Farce in Two Acts|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=qyBWXP7YWOIC&q=%22moose+murders%22|accessdate=February 25, 2008|year=1984|publisher=Samuel French|location=New York|isbn=0-573-61938-7}}</ref> A notorious flop, it is now widely considered the standard of awfulness against which all Broadway failures are judged,<ref name="Robertson">{{cite news|title='A Broadway Flop Again Raises Its Antlers|url=https://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/21/theater/21moos.html|author=Campbell Robertson|work=The New York Times|date=April 21, 2008|accessdate=April 21, 2008}}</ref> and its name has become synonymous with those distinctively bad Broadway plays that open and close on the same night.<ref>{{cite news|title='Moose Murders' Closes|url=https://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9405E0DF133BF937A15751C0A965948260&scp=2&sq=%22moose+murders%22&st=nyt|work=The New York Times|date=February 24, 1983|accessdate=February 25, 2008}}</ref> It had its single performance (excluding its 13 previews) at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre on February 22, 1983.<ref>{{cite web |url=https://www.ibdb.com/broadway-production/4207 |title=''Moose Murders'' |website=IBDB.com |publisher=Internet Broadway Database }}</ref>
==Plot== The Holloway family arrives at the "Wild Moose Lodge", which they have recently purchased, in the Adirondack Mountains, and they become trapped due to a storm. They pass the time playing a murder mystery game along with other people at the lodge: failed entertainers Snooks & Howie, and Nurse Dagmar who cares for patriarch Sidney Holloway. During the night, one Holloway son attempts incest with his mother. Several murders take place. According to reviewers, a mummified paraplegic (most likely Sidney) rises from his wheelchair to kick a man dressed as a moose in the crotch.<ref name="Robertson"/> However, this scene does not appear in the original script.
==Original production== The original Broadway production at the Eugene O'Neill Theatre was marred by problems even before it opened. Eve Arden in the lead role was seeking a return to Broadway after 40 years, but dropped out after the second preview. This was said to be due to "artistic differences"<ref>{{cite news|title=Eve Arden Quits Play; Performances Halted|work=The New York Times|date=February 2, 1983|url=https://www.nytimes.com/1983/02/02/theater/eve-arden-quits-play-performances-halted.html}}</ref>—but another source has suggested that it was because she could not remember her lines.<ref>{{cite web|url=https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00nsr99|title=BBC iPlayer - Witness: Moose Murders|first=Claire|last=Bowes|work=bbc.co.uk|year=2012|access-date=June 19, 2012}} (audio)</ref> She was replaced by Holland Taylor.<ref name="Robertson"/> The complete cast was as follows:
*Snooks Keene – June Gable *Howie Keene – Don Potter *Joe Buffalo Dance – Jack Dabdoub *Nurse Dagmar – Lisa McMillan *Hedda Holloway – Holland Taylor *Stinky Holloway – Scott Evans *Gay Holloway – Mara Hobel *Lauraine Holloway Fay – Lillie Robertson *Nelson Fay – Nicholas Hormann *Sidney Holloway – Dennis Florzak
The production was directed by John Roach.<ref>{{cite web| title=Moose Murders|publisher=Samuel French, Inc.|year=1984|url=http://www.samuelfrench.com/p/1565/moose-murders}}</ref>
==Reception== ''Moose Murders'' is legendary among flops on Broadway. ''The New York Times'' theater critic Frank Rich commented in his review of the play that there would now "always be two groups of theatergoers in this world: those who have seen ''Moose Murders,'' and those who have not ... A visit to ''Moose Murders'' is what will separate the connoisseurs of Broadway disaster from mere dilettantes for many moons to come."<ref name="Rich-1983-02-23"/> He later described it as "the worst play I've ever seen on a Broadway stage".<ref>{{cite news|first=Frank|last=Rich|authorlink=Frank Rich|title=After 13 years of drama and farce. . . Exit the Critic . . . humming the music and settling the scores|url=https://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=990DE1D61139F930A25751C0A962958260&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all|work=The New York Times|date=February 13, 1994|accessdate=February 25, 2008}}</ref> Rich's original review stated that "Even Act One of ''Moose Murders'' is inadequate preparation for Act Two,"<ref>{{citation|title=The Ultimate Book of Heroic Failures|first=Stephen|last=Pile|page=19|publisher=Faber and Faber}}</ref> and that "I won't soon forget the spectacle of watching the mummified Sidney rise from his wheelchair to kick an intruder, unaccountably dressed in a moose costume, in the groin."<ref name="Rich-1983-02-23">{{cite news |last=Rich |first=Frank |date=February 23, 1983 |title=Stage: 'Moose Murders,' a Brand of Whodunit |work=The New York Times |url=https://www.nytimes.com/1983/02/23/theater/stage-moose-murders-a-brand-of-whodunit.html |accessdate=February 25, 2008}}</ref> In an end-of-season review, he described ''Moose Murders'' as "the season's most stupefying flop—a show so preposterous that it made minor celebrities out of everyone who witnessed it, whether from on stage or in the audience."<ref>{{cite news|title=The Broadway Season Had Its Highs – And Too Many Lows|work=The New York Times|first=Frank|last=Rich|date=May 6, 1983|url=https://www.nytimes.com/1983/06/05/theater/the-broadway-season-had-its-highs-and-too-many-lows.html}}</ref>
''The New Yorker'' art critic Brendan Gill said the play "would insult the intelligence of an audience consisting entirely of amoebas".<ref name=Robertson/> Critic John Simon wrote in a review of the play, "Selective patrons cannot even imagine what horrors reviewers are exposed to, night after nightmarish night."<ref>{{cite news|first=Liesl|last=Schillinger|title=Notes of a Hanging Judge|url=https://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/08/books/review/08schillinger.html?pagewanted=all|work=The New York Times|date=January 8, 2006|accessdate=February 25, 2008}}</ref> Associated Press drama critic Jay Sharbutt described the play as comprising "a lot of labored skulduggery, frantic slapstick, dashes upstairs, downstairs and sideways, assorted gunshots and half the population of this caper dispatched to a better world, if not better play" and declined to identify the cast "pending notification of [next of] kin".<ref name="Sharbutt">{{cite news| title=''Moose Murders'' Opens On Broadway|first=Jay|last=Sharbutt|agency=Associated Press| date=February 23, 1983}}</ref> Douglas Watt of the New York ''Daily News'' called it an "incredibly sappy murder mystery farce" that shouldn't happen to a moose and said that he had forgotten how it ended,<ref>{{Cite news |last=Watt |first=Douglas |date=February 23, 1983 |title='Moose Murders' should not have been mounted |url=https://www.newspapers.com/article/daily-news-moose-murders-should-not-ha/191961672/ |access-date=2026-02-23 |work=Daily News |pages=37}}</ref> while the ''New York Post''{{'}}s Clive Barnes said that it was "so indescribably bad that I do not intend to waste anyone's time by describing it." He commended Eve Arden for leaving it before it opened and commented, "Some people have all the luck."<ref name="Sharbutt"/> Arthur Bicknell has also said that a member of the public, on spotting him in the street, shouted 'Officer, arrest that show!'<ref>{{cite web|url=https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00nsr99|title=BBC iPlayer - Witness: Moose Murders|first=Claire|last=Bowes|work=BBC News|year=2012|access-date=June 19, 2012}}</ref>
''Moose Murders'' became a touchstone of reference to be used in other reviews; a 1998 review of the television sitcom ''Encore! Encore!'' described the show as "the 'Moose Murders' of sitcoms—it won't be here past Halloween, but the recollection of its awfulness will give you untold delight for years to come."<ref>{{cite news|first=Jim|last=Rutenberg|title=Hunting for a Sitcom Hit Among the Misses|url=https://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9F07E6D6113AF932A1575AC0A9659C8B63&sec=&spon=&pagewanted=all|work=The New York Times|date=September 21, 2003|accessdate=February 25, 2008}}</ref> A 1995 production of the play ''Dracula'' in Philadelphia has been described as having "taken on legendary-turkey status [among Philadelphia critics] on a par with ''Moose Murders''".<ref>{{cite news|first=David|last=Warner|title=Exile on Walnut Street|url=http://www.citypaper.net/articles/113095/article050.shtml|work=Philadelphia City Paper|date=November 30 – December 7, 1995|accessdate=February 25, 2008}}</ref> Frank Rich himself later wrote in ''The New York Times'' (reviewing the 1988 version of ''Carrie''), "Only the absence of antlers separates the pig murders of ''Carrie'' from the ''Moose Murders'' of Broadway lore."<ref>{{cite news|first=Frank|last=Rich|title=The Telekinetic ''Carrie,'' With Music|url=http://theater.nytimes.com/mem/theater/treview.html?res=940DE7DA133FF930A25756C0A96E948260|work=The New York Times|date=May 12, 1988}}</ref> In the 2014 Broadway revival of Terrence McNally's ''It's Only a Play'', the ''Moose Murders''' failure is inevitably brought up during the post-premiere hand-wringing.{{cn|date=March 2026}}
==Revivals== Despite (or perhaps because of) the play's reputation, it has occasionally been revived. Numerous community theatre groups have staged it and, in 2008, John Borek, a Rochester "part-time conceptual artist", began holding staged readings of the play, hoping that it will find a new life "as a work of art".<ref name="Robertson"/> Borek's production led to articles in major newspapers such as ''The New York Times''<ref name="Robertson"/> and Spain's ''El País.''<ref name='ElPais'>{{cite news|first=Verónica|last=Calderón|title=Vuelve la peor obra de teatro: Un nuevo montaje redime a 'Moose Murders', el mayor fracaso de Broadway|date=August 10, 2008|url=http://elpais.com/diario/2008/08/10/revistaverano/1218385308_850215.html|work=El País|location=Madrid|accessdate=March 6, 2012|language=Spanish|trans-title=The worst play in theatre returns: A new production redeems 'Moose Murders', the biggest failure of Broadway}} (Full translation available [http://moosemurders.com/?p=45 here].)</ref> Borek's group staged another reading in 2010, and also staged readings of an earlier Bicknell play called ''My Great Dead Sister'' (which Bicknell said had received "good reviews") as well as a new play, ''What Is Art?'', that Bicknell wrote for Borek.<ref name='MPN2010'>{{cite news|title=Of 'Moose' and mirth: an Arthur Bicknell celebration at MuCCC|first=L. David|last=Wheeler|date=February 17, 2010|location=Canandaigua, New York|url=http://www.mpnnow.com/article/20100217/NEWS/302179860/0/SEARCH|work=Daily Messenger|accessdate=March 6, 2012}}</ref> New York City's Beautiful Soup Theater Collective revived the play in January 2013 for a two-week run at the Connelly Theatre. The production was directed by Steven Carl McCasland.<ref>{{Cite web |last=Riedel |first=Michael |date=2012-09-07 |title='Moose' is loose |url=https://nypost.com/2012/09/07/moose-is-loose/ |access-date=2024-02-22 |website=New York Post |language=en-US}}</ref>
== See also ==
* List of the shortest-running Broadway shows
==References== {{Reflist}}
==External links== * [http://moosemurders.com/ John W. Borek's ''Moose Murders'' website] * {{IBDB show}}
{{Authority control}}
Category:1983 plays Category:Broadway plays Category:Plays set in New York (state)