{{Short description|Anniversary for adoption of a child or pet}} "'''Gotcha Day'''" is a term for the anniversary of the day on which a person or a pet joins a family by adoption.<ref name="ParentsDebate">{{cite news |last=Milbrand |first=Lisa |date=November 19, 2013 |title=National Adoption Month: Should You Celebrate Gotcha Day? |website=Parents |url=http://www.parents.com/blogs/parents-perspective/2013/11/19/babies/national-adoption-month-should-you-celebrate-gotcha-day/ |accessdate=November 17, 2018 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131130020528/http://www.parents.com/blogs/parents-perspective/2013/11/19/babies/national-adoption-month-should-you-celebrate-gotcha-day/ |archive-date=30 November 2013 |url-status=dead}}</ref> It is also called "Homecoming Day", "Family Day", or "Adoption Day", although the date may be different from date on which the legal adoption becomes final.<ref name=Carroll>{{cite news|last=Roth |first=Jeffrey |title=Some Families Celebrate 'Gotcha Day' |url=http://www.carrollmagazine.com/articles/some-families-celebrate-gotcha-day.html |accessdate=August 7, 2014 |website=Carroll Magazine |date=April 2, 2013 |url-status=dead |archiveurl=https://web.archive.org/web/20141209000923/http://www.carrollmagazine.com/articles/some-families-celebrate-gotcha-day.html |archivedate=December 9, 2014 }}</ref><ref name=Spoke>{{cite news |last=Crooks |first=Lauren |title=Celebrating Love |url=http://m.spokesman.com/stories/2005/sep/12/celebrating-love/ |accessdate=August 7, 2014 |work=The Spokesman-Review |location=Spokane, Washington |date=September 12, 2005 |archive-date=August 8, 2014 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20140808055718/http://m.spokesman.com/stories/2005/sep/12/celebrating-love/ |url-status=dead }}</ref><ref name=AdoptedTeenBook>{{cite book|last1=Slade|first1=Suzanne|last2=Papile|first2=Christopher|title=Adopted: The Ultimate Teen Guide|date=2007|publisher=Scarecrow Press|location=Lanham, Maryland|isbn=978-0810857742|page=[https://archive.org/details/isbn_9780810857742/page/4 4]|url-access=registration|url=https://archive.org/details/isbn_9780810857742/page/4}}</ref> Gotcha Day is often associated with annual rituals or celebrations, much like a birthday.<ref name=Spoke /><ref name=Brokenties>{{cite book|last=Seligmann|first=Linda J.|title=Broken Links, Enduring Ties: American Adoption Across Race, Class, and Nation|date=2013|publisher=Stanford Univ. Press|location=Stanford, California|isbn=978-0804786058|page=249}}</ref> The tradition, and especially the word ''gotcha'', is considered offensive by some adoptees.<ref name=ParentsDebate /><ref name=Gotchaoffensive>{{cite web|last1=Moline |first1=Karen |title=The Great 'Gotcha' Day Debate |url=http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/gotcha |website=Adoptive Families |accessdate=November 17, 2018 |url-status=dead |archiveurl=https://web.archive.org/web/20140810150805/http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/gotcha |archivedate=August 10, 2014 }}</ref><ref name=TODAY>{{cite news |last=Urist |first=Jacoba |title='Gotcha Day' Celebrations Spark Debate Among Families Who Adopt |url=http://www.today.com/parents/gotcha-day-celebrations-spark-debate-among-families-who-adopt-8C11545542 |accessdate=November 17, 2018 |website=Today |publisher=NBC Universal |date=November 7, 2013}}</ref>
==History== The 2001 book, ''Primary Care Pediatrics'', noted that adoptive family are rarely present for the child's birth and recommended a celebration "an addition to the traditional birthday celebration, that is, the 'gotcha day'."<ref name=PCP>{{cite book| last1 = Green-Hernandez| first1 = Carol| last2 = Singleton| first2 = Joanne K.| last3 = Aronzon| first3 = Daniel Z.| others = Contributors: Harvey W. Aiges, et al.| title = Primary Care Pediatrics| date = 2001| publisher = Lippincott| location = Philadelphia| isbn = 0781720087| page = 73| url = https://books.google.com/books?id=o43u_qWT4asC&q=Primary+Care+Pediatrics+book+gotcha&pg=PA73| access-date = 7 August 2014}}</ref> Margaret Schwartz, in her book ''The Pumpkin Patch'', declared September 15, 2005 as ''International Gotcha Day''.<ref name=Spoke/><ref name=MargSchwartz>{{cite book|last1=Schwartz|first1=Margaret L.|title=The pumpkin patch : a single woman's international adoption journey|date=2005|publisher=Chicago Spectrum Press|location=Louisville, KY|isbn=1583741186}}</ref><ref name=Molinegetrid>{{cite news|last1=Moline |first1=Karen |title=Get Rid of "Gotcha" |url=http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1266 |accessdate=7 August 2014 |publisher=Adoptive Families Magazine |date=2014 |url-status=dead |archiveurl=https://web.archive.org/web/20140810150801/http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/articles.php?aid=1266 |archivedate=10 August 2014 }}</ref><ref name=ritual /> Schwartz used the term in reference to her international adoptions where the legal adoption occurred separately to the children physically joining the family. Spectrum Press subsequently endorsed and publicized the movement.<ref name=Brokenties/>
==Rituals== Gotcha Day can include cakes and presents like those of a birthday to broader celebration as a means of raising community awareness to normalize adoption.<ref name="ritual">{{cite book |last=Turner |first=Lynn |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=hH3mBetQGq4C&pg=PA269 |title=The Family Communication Sourcebook |work= |publisher=Sage |year=2006 |isbn=978-1-4129-0992-1 |chapter=Family Rituals |accessdate=}}</ref> "Gotcha Day" greeting cards are widely available and personalized "Gotcha Day" souvenirs have become a cottage industry.<ref name=GotchaDay>{{cite book|last1=Temple|first1=Sheila|title=Gotcha day : a celebration of adoption|date=2011|publisher=CrossBooks|location=Bloomington, Ind.|isbn=978-1615078257}}</ref> Re-telling the story of the child's arrival, as part of the family legend, is often highlighted. If the child was adopted from another culture, traditional food and music may be incorporated.<ref name=FamilyRItuals>{{cite book|last1=Biziou|first1=Barbara|title=The Joy of Family Rituals: Recipes for Everyday Living|date=November 1, 2010|publisher=Cosimo Books|isbn=978-1616404673|pages=196}}</ref>
<blockquote>Some celebrate with a "happy Gotcha Day" cake or give a small present, like a keepsake for their adopted daughter's charm bracelet. Others go out for a nice dinner, invite friends for an "adoption day" barbecue, or take a special family photo.<ref name=TODAY/></blockquote>
==Controversy== The arguments for celebrating, especially with international adoptions, include that it is a "firm date in history" whereas exact birthdays and early milestones may be less sure.<ref name=TODAY /> It also marks the day a family came physically together, separate from the legalities. According to an adoptive parent Amy Ames in a post on ''Adoptive Families'', "'We gotcha' is a phrase that acknowledges when another way of life began. Simply saying 'Adoption Day' does not differentiate between our children's placement and finalization dates, so 'Gotcha Day' is a less confusing name for us."<ref name=Gotchaoffensive/>
Arguments against include the opinion that it puts the focus on the adult's experience of events and demeans that of the adoptee.<ref name=TODAY /> "'Gotcha' for parents means 'lost-ya' for children who have been separated from familiar faces, smells, surroundings."<ref name=Brokenties /><ref name=Reframe>{{cite book|last1=Brian|first1=Kristi|title=Reframing Transracial Adoption; Adopted Koreans, White Parents, and the Politics of Kinship.|date=2012|publisher=Temple University Press|location=Philadelphia, Pa.|isbn=978-1439901847|page=151}}</ref> Adoption occurs after loss and abandonment and marking the day of transition can heighten those feelings.<ref name=ParentsDebate/> Other arguments focus on the word 'gotcha', which can have a 'gloating' tone.<ref name=Reframe /> Author Karen Moline, a progenitor of the argument against the term, wrote "What does this term imply? We use it when we grab someone who is running from us, or when we save someone from something, or when we're playing a game."<ref name=Molinegetrid />
Author and adoptive parent of color Morénike Giwa Onaiwu has emphasized that much of the "controversy" surrounding negative connotations of the term erases the perspectives and experiences of communities of color (adoptees of color and adoptive parents of color) and notes that the alternative phrases are equally problematic.<ref>{{cite web |title=Regarding Gotcha Day as a term: when white ain't necessarily right |url=https://morenikego.com/regarding-gotcha-day-as-a-term-when-white-aint-necessarily-right |website=Morénike Giwa Onaiwu |access-date=22 February 2021 |date=28 December 2014}}</ref>
==References== {{Reflist}}
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Category:Adoption parenting Category:Secular holidays