{{Short description|Psychosociology concept}} '''Good enough parent''' is a concept deriving from the work of Donald Winnicott, in his efforts to provide support for what he called "the sound instincts of normal parents...stable and healthy families".<ref>D. W. Winnicott, ''The Child, the Family, and the Outside World'' (Penguin 1973) p. 173</ref>
An extension of his championship of the "ordinary good mother...the devoted mother",<ref>D. W. Winnicott, ''The Child, the Family, and the Outside World'' (Penguin 1973) p. 10</ref> the idea of the good enough parent was designed on the one hand to defend the ordinary mother and father against what Winnicott saw as the growing threat of intrusion into the family from professional expertise; and on the other to offset the dangers of idealisation built into Kleinian articulations of the 'good object' and 'good mother',<ref>Mary Jacobus, ''The Poetics of Psychoanalysis'' (2005) p. 13</ref> by stressing instead the actual nurturing environment provided by the parents for the child.<ref>Loraine Day, ''Writing Shame and Desire'' (2007) p. 252</ref>
==Disillusionment== A key function of good enough parenting is to provide the essential background to allow for the growing child's disillusionment with the parents and the world, without destroying their appetite for life and ability to accept (external and internal) reality.<ref>C. W. Bingham/A.M . Sidorkin, ''No Education Without Relation'' (2004) p. 114</ref> By surviving the child's anger and frustration with the necessary disillusionments of life, the good enough parents would enable their child to relate to them on an ongoing and more realistic basis.<ref>Adam Phillips/Barbara Taylor, ''On Kindness'' (2004) p. 93-4</ref> As Winnicott put it, it is "the good-enough environmental provision" which makes it possible for the offspring to "cope with the immense shock of loss of omnipotence".<ref>Quoted in Adam Phillips, ''On Flirtation'' (1994) p. 18</ref> Failing such provision, family interactions may be based on a fantasy bond,<ref>Adam Phillips/Barbara Taylor, ''On Kindness'' (2004) p. 94</ref> in a retreat from genuine relating that fosters the false self and undercuts the ongoing ability to use the parents to foster continuing emotional growth offered by the good enough parents.<ref>C. W. Bingham/A.M . Sidorkin, ''No Education Without Relation'' (2004) p. 114</ref>
==See also== {{Columns-list|colwidth=22em| *Attachment theory *Family estrangement *Idealization and devaluation *Middle Group *Object relations theory *Transitional object }}
== References == <!--- See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Footnotes on how to create references using <ref></ref> tags, these references will then appear here automatically --> {{Reflist|2|}}
==Further reading== * Bruno Bettelheim, ''A Good Enough Parent'' (London 1987)
== External links == * [http://www.victorbloom.com/detail.php?id=1793 A good enough parent] * [http://www.enotes.com/psychoanalysis-encyclopedia/good-enough-mother Jennifer Johns, 'Good-Enough Mother']
Category:Childhood Category:Object relations theory