# Friend zone > Mediated Wiki article. Canonical URL: https://mediated.wiki/source/Friend_zone > Markdown URL: https://mediated.wiki/source/Friend_zone.md > Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend_zone > Source revision: 1354771820 > License: Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/) Inability to move from a platonic relationship into a romantic one For other uses, see [Friend zone (disambiguation)](/source/Friend_zone_(disambiguation)). Two partygoers demonstrating the "friend zone" Relationships (Outline) Types Genetic or adoptive Kinship Family Stepfamily Parent Father Mother Son Daughter Grandparent Sibling Brother Sister Cousin Aunt Uncle Niece and nephew By marriage Spouse Husband Wife Open marriage Polygamy Polyandry Polygyny Group marriage Mixed-orientation Partner(s) Significant other Boyfriend Girlfriend Cohabitation Long-distance Online Same-sex Queerplatonic Intimate and sexual Casual Committed Monogamy Non-monogamy Mutual monogamy Polyamory Polyfidelity Affair Cicisbeo Concubinage Courtesan Mistress Activities Bonding Courtship Dating Engagement Bachelor's Day Mating Meet market Romance Singles event Wedding Endings Breakup Ghosting Legal/marital separation Annulment Divorce Widowhood Emotions and feelings Affinity Attachment Intimacy Jealousy Love Friend zone Passionate and companionate Platonic Romance Romantic friendship Unconditional Passion Sexuality Non-romantic friendship Alliance Cross-sex Female Male Practices Bride price dower dowry service Homogamy Hypergamy Infidelity Sexual activity Transgression Repression Abuse Child Dating Domestic Elderly Narcissistic parent Controlling behavior Stalking v t e Part of a series on Love Red heart icon Types of love Affection Bonding Being in love Broken heart Compassionate love Conjugal love Courtly love courtship troubadours Falling in love Friendship cross-sex romantic zone Infatuation Interpersonal relationship Intimacy Limerence Love addiction Love at first sight Love triangle Lovesickness Lovestruck Obsessive love Parental love Passion Passionate and companionate love Platonic love Puppy love Queerplatonic relationship Romance Self-love Amour de soi Unconditional love Unrequited love Social views Anarchist Free love Patriotism Chinese Ren Yuanfen French Amour-propre Greek words for love Agape Eros Ludus Mania Philautia Philia Pistis Pragma Storgḗ Xenia Indian Kama Bhakti Maitrī Islamic Ishq Jewish Chesed Latin Amor Caritas Portuguese Saudade Yaghan Mamihlapinatapai Concepts Bhakti yoga Biology of romantic love Interpersonal attraction Love letter Love of Christ Love of God in Christianity Love magic Valentine's Day Philosophy Religious views love deities Physical attractiveness Theories of love Color wheel theory of love Reward theory of attraction Triangular theory of love v t e Part of a series on Emotions Affect Alexithymia Classification In animals Emotional intelligence Mood Self-regulation Interpersonal Dysregulation Valence Emotions Acceptance Admiration Affection Amusement Anger Angst Anguish Annoyance Anticipation Anxiety Apathy Arousal Awe Belongingness Boredom Confidence Confusion Contempt Contentment Courage Curiosity Depression Desire Determination Disappointment Disgust Distrust Doubt Dysphoria Ecstasy Elevation Embarrassment Emotional detachment Empathy Enthusiasm Envy Euphoria Faith Fear Frustration Gratification Gratitude Greed Grief Guilt Happiness Hatred Hope Horror Hostility Hubris Humiliation Interest Jealousy Joy Kindness Limerence Loneliness Love Lust Nostalgia Outrage Panic Passion Pity Pleasure Pride Rage Regret Rejection Relief Remorse Resentment Sadness Saudade Schadenfreude Self-pity Shame Shock Shyness Social connection Sorrow Suffering Surprise Suspicion Trust Wonder Worry v t e In popular culture, the **friend zone** (or **friendzone**) is a relational concept, describing a situation in which one person in a mutual [friendship](/source/Friendship) wishes to enter into a [romantic or sexual relationship](/source/Intimate_relationship) with the other person, while the other does not.[1] The person whose romantic advances were rejected is then said to have "entered" (or to have been "put in") the friend zone, with the sense that they are stuck there. The friend zone has a strong presence on the Internet; for example, on [Facebook](/source/Facebook), dating sites, and other social media platforms. However, over time, the term has expanded into middle schools, high schools, and colleges where young people are discovering their identities when it comes to dating and romance.[2] The concept of the friend zone has been criticized by some as [misogynistic](/source/Misogynistic), because of a belief that the concept implies an expectation that women should be romantically involved with men in whom they have no interest, simply because the men were nice to them. However, the term refers to all forms of unrequited affection, not necessarily a man having a romantic interest in a woman. It is also closely associated with so-called "[nice guy syndrome](/source/Nice_guy_syndrome)".[3] The term was originally popularized in the American sitcom television series *[Friends](/source/Friends)* (1994). In the seventh episode of the first season, "[The One with the Blackout](/source/The_One_with_the_Blackout)", [Ross Geller](/source/Ross_Geller) is lovesick for [Rachel Green](/source/Rachel_Green), but [Joey Tribbiani](/source/Joey_Tribbiani) informs him that, when two people meet, there is a short period in which there is potential for a romantic relationship that Ross has gone beyond. After this time, if they continue to see each other, they are in the "friend zone" and so a romantic relationship is effectively impossible, even if one of the parties wants to be the other's lover.[4] ## Terminology The term *friend zone* can be [verbified](/source/Verbing), as in the sentence "So, she's friend-zoned you."[5] It is described as "[a] situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unreciprocated romantic or sexual interest in the other."[6] Although the term is apparently gender-neutral, the friend zone is often used to describe a situation in a male-female relationship in which the male is in the friend zone and the female is the object of his [unrequited desire](/source/Unrequited_love), or vice versa, where the female is being friend-zoned by the male, although less common.[7][8] The person who does the friend-zoning is referred to as the *friend-zoner*, whereas the person who gets friend-zoned is called the *friend-zonee*. The term *friend zone* is sometimes used in [pickup artist](/source/Pickup_artist) (PUA) literature, where it forms part of PUA theories about female sexual attraction to males. ## Research Binghamton University did a study on undergraduates from a midsize university in the northeastern United States. There were 562 participants with 305 identified as female and 257 as male. Of the 562 participants, 427 were exclusively heterosexual while 113 were not exclusively heterosexual. The participants were asked "Have you ever friend-zoned someone else?" and "Have you ever been friend-zoned?" The study found that 65.7% of exclusively heterosexual males have friend-zoned someone while 92.6% of exclusively heterosexual females have friend-zoned someone. The study also found that 75.2% of exclusively heterosexual males have been friend-zoned before while only 41.2% of exclusively heterosexual females have been friend-zoned before.[9] ## Background Writer Jeremy Nicholson in *[Psychology Today](/source/Psychology_Today)* suggested that a romantic pursuer, in order to avoid being rejected up front, uses a ploy of acting friendly as a "back door" way into a hoped-for relationship. When this method does not work, the pursuer consequently is placed in the *friend zone*.[10] According to some psychologists, the man in a [cross-gender friendship](/source/Cross-sex_friendship) is more likely to be attracted to his woman friend than she is to him, and he is more likely to overestimate her interest in a romantic or sexual relationship.[11][12] ## Criticism of the term [Feminist](/source/Feminist) writers such as Rivu Dasgupta and [Amanda Marcotte](/source/Amanda_Marcotte) have argued that the friend zone concept is [misogynistic](/source/Misogynistic).[13][14][15][16] Dasgupta sees the friend zone as being rooted in [male narcissism](/source/Male_narcissism).[13] The *[nice guy](/source/Nice_guy)* concept has been criticized as a [gender trope](/source/Gender_role) with an underlying message that kind acts demand a sexual or romantic reward.[13] Dasgupta and Marcotte say that the concept implies that if a woman and a man have a platonic friendship and the man becomes romantically attracted to the woman, then the woman has an obligation to return his affection.[13] A woman who does not return her "nice guy" male friend's affection is viewed negatively or seen to be at fault.[13] Ryan Milner of the [College of Charleston](/source/College_of_Charleston) argued that the *friend zone* concept is a nuanced and harmful aspect of [patriarchal](/source/Patriarchal) authority and male domination.[17] *[The Guardian](/source/The_Guardian)* contributor Ally Fogg argues that while the friend zone does not exist in a literal sense, men who use the term "friend zone" are not necessarily misogynists who feel entitled to sex. He states the term's usage reflects a genuine emotional experience for straight men with low self-esteem and self-confidence. He places blame on ingrained gender roles.[11] Being rejected by a potential partner does not mean a person has been friend-zoned; it means that potential partner does not want to pursue a romantic relationship.[18] ## In popular culture The term was popularized by a 1994 episode of the American sitcom *[Friends](/source/Friends)* entitled "[The One with the Blackout](/source/The_One_with_the_Blackout)", where the character [Ross Geller](/source/Ross_Geller), who was [lovesick](/source/Love_sickness) for [Rachel Green](/source/Rachel_Green), was described by character [Joey Tribbiani](/source/Joey_Tribbiani) as being the "mayor of the friend zone".[19] [Chris Rock](/source/Chris_Rock) mentions the term in his 1996 "Bring the Pain" skit. He says that women have male friends, but these men are friends with women they "haven't fucked yet". Rock then claims that men who have platonic friends is because of an accident and ending up in the friend zone is because of a "wrong turn somewhere".[20] The 2005 romantic comedy film *[Just Friends](/source/Just_Friends)*'s main plot device is that the protagonist Chris Brander (played by [Ryan Reynolds](/source/Ryan_Reynolds)) is "friend-zoned" by his best friend (and secret love interest since school) Jamie Palamino (played by [Amy Smart](/source/Amy_Smart)). The [Cartoon Network](/source/Cartoon_Network) series *[Regular Show](/source/Regular_Show)* brings up and shows the friend zone on a regular basis, as one of the show's main characters, Mordecai, and his friend Margaret experience shifts in their relationship. [MTV](/source/MTV) aired a reality show entitled *[FriendZone](/source/Friendzone_(MTV_series))* from 2011 to 2013. Each episode is based around "crushers" who are friends with the "crushees" but want to begin relationships with them. American disc jockey and record producer [Marshmello](/source/Marshmello)'s 2018 hit "[Friends](/source/Friends_(Marshmello_and_Anne-Marie_song))" featuring vocals by British singer [Anne-Marie](/source/Anne-Marie), features themes of feeling friend-zoned, with Marie having gone on to self-proclaim it the "friend-zone anthem" in remarks made on [Genius](/source/Genius_(company)), with its [Hannah Lux Davis](/source/Hannah_Lux_Davis)-directed [music video](/source/Music_video) echoing the song's sentiments, with Marshmello attempting to win Anne-Marie's love, but, in turn, Anne-Marie just wants to be friends with him. In the 2025 American animated heist comedy film *[The Bad Guys 2](/source/The_Bad_Guys_2)* produced by [DreamWorks Animation](/source/DreamWorks_Animation), the sequel to 2022's *[The Bad Guys](/source/The_Bad_Guys_(film))*, both loosely based on [the book series of the same name](/source/The_Bad_Guys_(book_series)) by Australian children's author and former actor [Aaron Blabey](/source/Aaron_Blabey) about a gang of anthropomorphic animals known as the title "Bad Guys" attempting to perform good deeds to change society's perception of them as criminals, Mr. Wolf, leader of the titular "Bad Guys" (voiced by [Sam Rockwell](/source/Sam_Rockwell)), in one scene, mentions feeling friend-zoned by the in-universe state governor and his friend and former critic Diane Foxington/"The Crimson Paw" (voiced by [Zazie Beetz](/source/Zazie_Beetz)), his implied love interest in the first film, although in a later scene of the aforementioned sequel, this is presumably resolved as the two share their first kiss (and become a couple overall). ## See also - [Human sexuality portal](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portal:Human_sexuality) - [Attachment in adults](/source/Attachment_in_adults) - [Bad boy archetype](/source/Bad_boy_archetype) - [Cockblock](/source/Cockblock) - [Cross-sex friendship](/source/Cross-sex_friendship) - [Infatuation](/source/Infatuation) - [Nice guy](/source/Nice_guy) - [Unrequited love](/source/Unrequited_love) ## References 1. **[^](#cite_ref-1)** "friend zone", [*Oxford English Dictionary*](https://web.archive.org/web/20131129154332/http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/friend-zone), archived from [the original](http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/us/definition/american_english/friend-zone) on 29 November 2013, retrieved 22 January 2014, ...a situation in which a friendship exists between two people, one of whom has an unrequited romantic or sexual interest in the other... 1. **[^](#cite_ref-2)** Buchler, Chelsea (5 January 2014). "The "Friendzone": Renegotiating Gender Performance and Boundaries in Relationship Discourse". *University of Colorado Boulder*. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-3)** Hosie, Rachel (16 December 2016). ["The sinister logic behind 'Nice Guy Syndrome', explained by psychologists"](https://web.archive.org/web/20250327223440/https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/love-sex/nice-guy-syndrome-dating-tactics-persona-men-women-relationships-a7476651.html). *[The Independent](/source/The_Independent)*. Archived from [the original](https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/nice-guy-syndrome-dating-tactics-persona-men-women-relationships-a7476651.html) on 27 March 2025. Retrieved 17 March 2024. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-4)** Kelly, Sarah-Louise (7 March 2024). ["People Are Just Realising Where The Term 'Friend Zone' Came From And We're Stunned"](https://web.archive.org/web/20250725151341/https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/people-are-just-realising-where-the-term-friend-zone-came-from-and-were-stunned_uk_65e9cde8e4b0c77c74157b33). *[Huffington Post UK](/source/Huffington_Post)*. Archived from [the original](https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/people-are-just-realising-where-the-term-friend-zone-came-from-and-were-stunned_uk_65e9cde8e4b0c77c74157b33) on 25 July 2025. Retrieved 16 March 2024. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-5)** ["The Friend Zone: Less Innocuous than it Seems? - The Jambar"](https://thejambar.com/the-friend-zone-less-innocuous-than-it-seems/). February 2018. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-6)** Shields, Giorgia (12 January 2017). "A place where every decent guy will find himself eventually": delineating the friend zone as a site of sexual violence". *The University of Texas at Austin*. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-7)** ["6 reasons the "friend zone" needs to die"](https://web.archive.org/web/20250422224826/https://www.salon.com/2013/10/12/6_reasons_the_friend_zone_needs_to_die/). *Salon*. 12 October 2013. Archived from [the original](https://www.salon.com/2013/10/12/6_reasons_the_friend_zone_needs_to_die/) on 22 April 2025. Retrieved 25 October 2017. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-8)** Gil, Natalie. ["Women Get Friend-Zoned Too – And Men Still Sleep With Them Anyway"](https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/men-friend-zone-women). *www.refinery29.com*. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-9)** Harrington, Lillian; Butler, Allison; Boyle, Mariel; Goodman, Taylor; Katz, Shai; Cinnamo, Morgan; Merriwether, Ann; Massey, Sean (21 April 2017). ["The Friend zone: An In/inite Place Where Nothing Good Happens: A Comprehensive Study of Friend zoning Across Varying Genders and Sexual Orientations"](https://orb.binghamton.edu/research_days_posters/4/). *Research Days Posters 2016-2019*. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-twsPsychToday5_10-0)** Nicholson, Jeremy (1 March 2013). ["Avoiding the Friend Zone: Becoming a Boyfriend or a Girlfriend"](http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201302/avoiding-the-friend-zone-becoming-girlfriend-or-boyfriend). *[Psychology Today](/source/Psychology_Today)*: 3. 1. ^ [***a***](#cite_ref-twsTheGuardian2_11-0) [***b***](#cite_ref-twsTheGuardian2_11-1) Fogg, Ally (8 January 2013). ["Not all men in the 'friend zone' are bad guys"](https://web.archive.org/web/20251016211631/https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/jan/08/friends-friend-zone). *[The Guardian](/source/The_Guardian)*. Archived from [the original](https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/jan/08/friends-friend-zone) on 16 October 2025. Retrieved 29 November 2014. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-12)** Bleske-Rechek, April; Somers, Erin; Micke, Cierra; Erickson, Leah; Matteson, Lindsay; Stocco, Corey; Schumacher, Brittany; Ritchie, Laura (August 2012). "Benefit or burden? Attraction in cross-sex friendship". *[Journal of Social and Personal Relationships](/source/Journal_of_Social_and_Personal_Relationships)*. **29** (5): 569–596. [doi](/source/Doi_(identifier)):[10.1177/0265407512443611](https://doi.org/10.1177%2F0265407512443611). [S2CID](/source/S2CID_(identifier)) [4991872](https://api.semanticscholar.org/CorpusID:4991872). [Pdf.](http://bleske-rechek.com/April%20Website%20Files/Bleske-Rechek%20et%20al.%202012%20Benefit%20or%20Burden.pdf) 1. ^ [***a***](#cite_ref-maneater_13-0) [***b***](#cite_ref-maneater_13-1) [***c***](#cite_ref-maneater_13-2) [***d***](#cite_ref-maneater_13-3) [***e***](#cite_ref-maneater_13-4) Dasgupta, Rivu (13 February 2014). ["The Friend Zone is Sexist"](https://web.archive.org/web/20141205161105/http://www.themaneater.com/stories/2014/2/13/friend-zone-sexist/). *The Maneater*. Archived from [the original](http://www.themaneater.com/stories/2014/2/13/friend-zone-sexist/) on 5 December 2014. Retrieved 20 May 2024. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-Marcotte_14-0)** Marcotte, Amanda (27 May 2014). ["The dangerous discourse of "the friend zone""](https://www.rawstory.com/2014/05/the-dangerous-discourse-of-the-friend-zone/). *[The Raw Story](/source/The_Raw_Story)*. [Archived](https://web.archive.org/web/20140801110241/http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2014/05/27/the-dangerous-discourse-of-the-friend-zone/) from the original on 1 August 2014. Retrieved 7 June 2014. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-15)** Moore, Tracy (2 November 2014). ["Hey Dude, You're Not Stuck in the Friendzone Cuz You Dress Shitty (blog)"](http://jezebel.com/hey-dude-youre-not-stuck-in-the-friendzone-cuz-you-dre-1653403664). *[Jezebel](/source/Jezebel_(website))*. [Univision Communications](/source/Univision_Communications). Retrieved 26 April 2015. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-6_reasons_16-0)** Dickson, E.J. (12 October 2013). ["6 reasons the "friend zone" needs to die"](http://www.salon.com/2013/10/12/6_reasons_the_friend_zone_needs_to_die/). *[Salon.com](/source/Salon_(website))*. Retrieved 26 April 2015. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-twsFiberCulture4_17-0)** Milner, Ryan M. (2013). ["FCJ-156 Hacking the Social: Internet Memes, Identity Antagonism, and the Logic of Lulz"](http://twentytwo.fibreculturejournal.org/fcj-156-hacking-the-social-internet-memes-identity-antagonism-and-the-logic-of-lulz/). *The Fiberculture Journal* (22, 2013): 16. Retrieved 6 November 2014. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-18)** Williamson, Carlos D. (30 January 2018). ["In the friend zone? Here's what you need to know"](https://web.archive.org/web/20230913195148/https://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/sc-fam-friend-zone-rejection-0206-story.html). *Chicago Tribune*. Archived from [the original](https://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/sc-fam-friend-zone-rejection-0206-story.html) on 13 September 2023. Retrieved 15 February 2025. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-19)** ["Friends: The One With the Blackout Recap"](https://web.archive.org/web/20081205051857/http://www.tv.com/friends/the-one-with-the-blackout/episode/351/recap.html). [TV.com](/source/TV.com). Archived from [the original](http://www.tv.com/friends/the-one-with-the-blackout/episode/351/recap.html) on 5 December 2008. Retrieved 14 January 2008. 1. **[^](#cite_ref-auto_20-0)** Michael, Cherish Krista. "Perceptions of Healthy and Respectful Relationships and Friend Zone Phenomena." PhD diss., Arizona State University, 2015. --- Adapted from the Wikipedia article [Friend zone](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend_zone) by Wikipedia contributors ([contributor history](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend_zone?action=history)). Available under [Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International](https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/). Changes may have been made.